


Lieutenant's Ship

by The_Upholsterer



Series: Captain's Chair [5]
Category: Babylon 5 & Related Fandoms, Crusade
Genre: Asian Character(s), Asian-American Character, BDSM Scene, Banter, Biting, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Clothing Kink, Cock Worship, Cowboys & Cowgirls, Dildos, Dubious Consent, Elevator Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, False Identity, Gay Sex, Hand Feeding, Hand Jobs, Ice Play, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Mildly Dubious Consent, Nipple Clamps, Paddling, Picnics, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Poker, Porn with Feelings, Power Play, Romance, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Senses, Sexual Fantasy, Sleep Sex, Survivor Guilt, Telepathic Sex, Telepathy, Topping from the Bottom, Trust Issues, Watching Someone Sleep, Wax Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-10-26 16:07:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20744945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Upholsterer/pseuds/The_Upholsterer
Summary: Captain Gideon and Lieutenant Matheson try to pack in as much time together - and sex - as possible before they will be torn apart.





	1. An Uplifting Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon finds a new place to have sex.

**Part 1: An Uplifting Encounter**

They had five months. 

Five months before 'Mr. Jones' next scheduled visit. Before the telepathic watchdog came to check on Lieutenant John Matheson, the first telepath in EarthForce. When, if they didn't figure out some solution, Gideon and John would be separated, destroyed, and never see one another again. 

Five months. Five glorious months. They planned to make good use of the time. 

* * *

On the busy bridge of the Starship Excalibur, Captain Matthew Gideon casually leaned over the shoulder of his First Officer. Lt. John Matheson's elegant fingers were busy with some calculations that Gideon had just asked him to run. Unexpectedly, Gideon caught a whiff of John's particular scent \- a combination of skin and sweat and an aftershave that reminded Gideon of clean wind and sea. 

Gideon swallowed and gripped his hands behind his back. 

He leaned slightly closer, his lips near John's ear. "Lift B. Five minutes." He straightened up and moved back towards his chair. John gave no sign that he had heard but continued to work on the calculations. 

Standing by his chair, Gideon made a show of frowning and looking at his chronometer. 

"Lieutenant, has Mr. Eilerson sent that report I asked for yet?" he asked. 

"No, sir," John replied. 

"Hmm, I better go ask him personally." He assumed a confrontational air and strode off the bridge. Behind him, he was sure that John was exchanging glances with others of his bridge crew, feeling sympathy for the poor Mr. Eilerson. 

Off the bridge, Gideon made a beeline for Lift B and stepped inside. The lift moved upwards as he waited for the two crew members who were on the lift to get off. Given his general air of irritation, they stepped off at the next possible point. 

Gideon chuckled to himself. It could be useful to be known as a hardass. He pulled open the lift's maintenance panel and hmmed to himself. 

Exactly on time, the lift arrived at the bridge deck and Lt. Matheson stepped in. Gideon was hidden out of sight by the side of the door. John's expression didn't change as he spotted Gideon. The door slid shut. 

John turned to him. 

"Captain?" 

Gideon held up a hand for silence. He reached into the panel and disconnected the wires that powered the lift security cameras. Speaking into his wrist communicator, he said, "Lift B, immediate maintenance mode. No alarms. Authorization Matthew Gideon." 

Two beeps of confirmation and the lift stopped in place, its doors locked shut. 

Gideon dropped his wrist and turned to John, grinning wolfishly. Three steps and he had John pressed up against the wall, nuzzling his neck. 

John laughed in delight and pulled Gideon closer. 

Gideon covered John's face with light kisses, breathing in the warmth of him. "I just can't seem to get enough of you. Your skin, your scent, your touch. I want you constantly. I dream about you and think about you and when I eat, I can taste you on my lips. Why is that?" 

"I don't know," John said breathlessly, "but you won't hear me complaining." 

"I better not." Then Gideon captured John's mouth and no more could be said for a while. 

Gideon's hands found and removed John's jacket, sliding it off his shoulders and pushing it to the floor. He waylaid John's hands when they tried to do the same to his jacket. 

Gideon broke the kiss and murmured, "I have something in mind." 

"I think I should be worried." 

Gideon laughed and pulled off John's earpiece and dragged John's shirt over his head, totally disarranging his silky black hair. Gideon dug his fingers into John's waistband and unfastened his pants. He knelt down before John, looking up at him. The Lieutenant's eyes were wide with arousal and he was chewing on his lower lip. 

Smiling, Gideon slowly pulled John's pants and underwear down his legs. Pulling off the soft black underwear unveiled an already stiffening cock. Gideon briefly kissed John's cock and moved on, scattering kisses down John's legs. 

When he got to John's feet, he nudged John so that he lifted each foot. With John leaning on his shoulder, Gideon removed each shoe and sock and pulled the pants and underwear over each foot. 

He sat back on his heels, looking up at his stark-naked Lieutenant. 

John raised his eyebrows and tried to look self-possessed, a difficult thing in his position. 

Moving forward, Gideon bent down and rubbed his cheek against one bare foot. He ran his cheek up and brushed his shoulders against John's legs. Rising very slowly, he pressed against John, dragging the fabric of his black uniform up against his calves, thighs, hips, cock, chest, shoulders. John's hands were tangled in his hair. He rose until the whole length of his dressed body was pressed against John's naked one. 

He remembered their first time, on the bridge, and the incredible stimulation created by John's uniform rubbing his naked body. Indeed, John's mouth hung slightly open and his hands were still buried in Gideon's hair. He pressed himself against Gideon, wrapping one ankle around Gideon's to pull him closer. 

Slowly, teasingly, Gideon ground his hips against John's exposed cock. John's mouth found his mouth and he sucked on Gideon's lower lip. 

Gideon felt the blood pounding in his own erection, but he ignored it. This time was just for John. 

He freed his lip from John's and ran the very tip of his tongue along John's cheekbones, his jaw, nipping at his ear. He turned John's head, so he could kiss the sensitive skin just behind his ear. He turned his face back. John's eyes were closed and Gideon kissed each eyelid. 

Continuing to keep as much contact as possible between his uniform and John's skin, Gideon's mouth and hands traveled over his neck and shoulders. On the smooth skin just below the collarbone, Gideon sucked hard, fully planning on leaving a mark on the almost hairless expanse of skin. 

"Mine," Gideon growled. 

"Always," John whispered, his eyes still closed. 

Gideon's lips sucked and pulled at John's nipples, while his hands traced feather-light lines down John's back. 

He could hear John's breathing growing ragged. John's hands had found their way back to Gideon's hair and seemed frozen there. 

Gideon released John's nipples and leaned away for a moment to snag the Lieutenant's jacket from the lift floor and pull it towards him. He folded it up into a small pillow and kneeled on it. 

Gideon ran his hands over John's flat lower stomach and narrow hips. His fingers trailed through the small patch of pubic hair at the base of his erect cock and down the textured surface of his balls. 

Finally, taking pity on the trembling Lieutenant, Gideon let his lips brush the tip of John's upright cock. 

John made a noise somewhere between a groan and a whimper. His fingers flexed convulsively. 

Gideon steadied himself against John's legs and took the head of John's cock slowly into his mouth. 

Just his own mental picture of how he looked, fully clothed and kneeling on the floor of the lift at the feet of his naked First Officer, with his First Officer's cock in his mouth, was enough to send a jolt of erotic electricity straight through Gideon's own body. 

Gideon pulled away and closed his eyes, concentrating briefly on tamping down his own desires. 

Somewhat under control, he opened his eyes and sucked the head of John's cock into his mouth. He ran the insides of his lips around the rim of the head, sucking it in and out of his mouth. His tongue flickered over the smooth surface, tapping the slot at the end each time he went by. 

He took his mouth off the cock and gripped it in one hand. With the tip of his tongue, he traced the line that ran down the front of the cock - from the top, down the V split of the head, down the fine ridge of skin, to the base and dividing the balls in two. 

One after another he took John's balls into his mouth, sucking and pulling gently. His thumb and forefinger were busy massaging the head of John's cock. He traced the line back up to the top of the cock, pausing to tease and nuzzle as he went. 

Reaching the tip, he sucked the whole head back into his mouth, tasting the salty-sharpness of the few drops that had formed at the slit. He moved his lips downward, taking more of the cock into his mouth, his tongue dancing along the veined surface. 

He sucked upwards until the head of the cock was almost on his lips, then plunged down again, his mouth creating a firm seal. With one hand, he gripped the base of John's cock, steadying himself. With the other hand he squeezed one ass cheek in rhythm to his sucking as he pulled the cock in and out. John's hands were trembling where they were still clenched in his hair. 

Gideon slid his tongue out of his mouth and sucked the entire length of the cock in, filling his mouth and throat with the taut organ. 

Above him, John moaned. Gideon could feel the moan through every connection he had with John. 

That gave him an idea. As he slid Jock's cock in and out of his mouth, he began to hum deep in his chest. He could feel his lips and mouth slightly vibrating, those vibrations transmitting through the sensitive cock. 

John's ass tensed under his hand as the Lieutenant tried to hold out a little longer. 

Still humming, Gideon quickened his pace, driving an intense rhythm up and down the length of John's cock. The hand that was on his ass crept to the crack between his ass cheeks, one finger rubbing the outside of his asshole in time with his sucking. John began to shake, his hands gripping Gideon's head tightly. 

Abruptly, John cried, "Matt!" and began pounding furiously into Gideon's mouth. John's cock spasmed and hot juices poured down the back of Gideon's throat. Gideon swallowed eagerly, like a thirsty man gulping water. John gave one last shudder and collapsed back against the wall. 

Smiling up at John's flushed face, Gideon licked the last of the juices from his lips. John's knees buckled and he slid to the floor, landing in a heap in front of Gideon. 

  
Gideon pulled John onto his lap and gathered him into his arms. He tilted up John's chin and placed a salty kiss on his lips. 

"That should keep me satisfied," he murmured against John's mouth, "For about five minutes." 

"I will need a little longer than that to recover." John's voice was husky. "I have to say, Captain, that you are getting most proficient at that." 

"I take that as a great compliment, Lieutenant, since it comes from the master." Gideon shifted in his position, arranging his pants to make his own pounding erection the most comfortable. 

John reached towards his crotch. "Let me--" 

Gideon grabbed his hand, kissing the palm. "No, John. You have to learn how to just take sometimes. You are too giving." 

"Yes, Matt," John said meekly. 

Gideon raised his eyebrows in suspicion. "What are you plotting in that devious Teep mind of yours?" 

John widened his eyes, all innocence. "First Officers do not 'plot', sir, we make contingency plans." 

Gideon laughed. "What contingency plan do you have if I suddenly release the maintenance mode on this lift?" 

"Crawl out of the top of the lift?" 

"Now there's a picture," Gideon chuckled, his fingers running down John's bare chest. "Almost makes me want to try it, just to see your naked ass disappearing up the lift shaft." 

"What makes you think it is me that would be doing the disappearing?" 

Gideon tweaked John's left nipple and growled, "Because I'm the Captain." 

"Ah, I forget that." 

"You better not," Gideon captured John's face with both hands and kissed him thoroughly. 

  
A little while later, when Gideon returned to the bridge, he had a hard time keeping a contented grin off his face. He hoped that anything that showed through would be attributed to a satisfying chewing out of Mr. Eilerson, though Gideon's conversation with Eilerson had been brief and cordial. 

Gideon sat back in his chair and found himself daydreaming about riding hoverscooters with John across the desert. 


	2. A Visit to the Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the bowels of the Excalibur, John creates a beach picnic experience for Gideon, via food and telepathy and sex.

**Part 2: A Visit to the Beach**

"Captain?" Executive Officer John Matheson spoke into his wrist communicator, forcing his voice to sound normal. "Do you have a moment?" 

"What is it, Lieutenant?" came Captain Matthew Gideon's voice back. 

"Some odd noises in the bullet car tunnel, Deck 12." 

"Odd noises? Shouldn't you call the maintenance crew?" 

"Do you have a moment to come down here yourself?" 

"I don't see how--" 

"I think you should see for yourself ..." John played his trump card. "Matt." 

A pause at the other end and John chewed his lip. 

"I'll be there in 10 minutes. Gideon out." 

John let out his breath and looked over his setup. 

The bullet car tunnel wasn't a comfortable place to have a picnic, but John was determined. He had taken a large inflatable mattress and laid it down along the bottom of the tunnel. He had covered the mattress with some huge towels, anchored down in the corners against the gusts of wind down the tunnel. The wind ruffled his hair and he nervously smoothed it down again. 

Why are you nervous? he chided himself. He and Matt had been lovers for almost a month and a half now. But John still woke up every morning and had to remind himself of the fact. He still got a little jolt of surprise every time that Matt looked at him with lust in those warm eyes. And before every time they had arranged to meet, John had those moments of self-doubt, wondering if Matt would really come. If he would really touch John's face with those hands, kiss him with those lips, bring John to a sheer sweetness of arousal that no one ever had before. John felt like he was constantly living in an erotic haze. 

For one of the first times in his life, John was grateful for his Psi Corps training. The rigid training kept John moving, taking care of his duties, eating, making sure his uniform was straight, and that he went to all the right meetings, said the right things and continued to keep the Excalibur running smoothly as possible. Meanwhile, he was dreaming about Matt. 

It wasn't being fair to the Captain. Matthew Gideon deserved a First Officer who had all his attention on his work. And a lover who was all his and didn't have to sneak around. And it wasn't fair to the mission they were on, the desperate search for the Cure for the plague destroying Earth. 

But dammit, John wanted to be selfish, wanted Matt in his arms so bad that he would willingly throw everything he had ever worked for away for just one night with him. And to have five months ... 

John shook himself. Matt should be here soon. Was everything ready? He had the massage oil, the picnic basket, lunch, extra towels... Damn, where were the extra towels? 

He took a deep breath and pushed away his nervousness. He sat on the ledge on the side of the tunnel and waited for Matt. 

Matt, Matt, Matt... He loved to call him that. From his telepathic visits to Matt's mind, John knew that Matt's mental name for himself was 'Gideon' but he had asked John to call him 'Matt' like no one else. It was a gift John treasured. 

John was under no illusion. He knew what any counselor would call his feelings for Matthew Gideon: Hero-worship. And yes, John did admire Matt and wish he could be more like him, impetuous and fierce. But he also loved, yes loved, Matt for his flaws and quirks. Matt was like a fine mesh of arrogance and insecurity, a man of wildly oscillating moods, zealous in loyalty and cunning in the face of death. He viewed every one of the men and women under his command as a personal responsibility, and he took on the universe single-handedly for them. And it didn't hurt that he was...what did he call it -- "ruggedly handsome"? 

Since he and Matt had become lovers, Matt had shown him unexpected tenderness and passion that had driven any last doubts out of John's mind. Who would have guessed there was so much pent-up desire behind those hazel eyes? John felt he could spend the rest of his life exploring the puzzle that was Matthew Gideon, and he dearly hoped he would get that chance. 

"Lieutenant?" 

He jumped. "Hi, Matt." 

Matt sat next to John and frowned down at the inflated mattress in the track. "Isn't that going to, well, explode the next time a bullet car comes whizzing through here?" 

"Yes, it would." John grinned. "But there aren't going to be any bullet cars through here for a while." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yep." 

"How did you manage that?" 

John said, "I simply told the system that there was an electrical malfunction in this section of the tunnel. It immediately shut down all bullet car activity through here. And also dropped the containment barriers on the tracks on both sides of the tunnel. The only way in here is that door right there, which you locked behind you. The system will spend at least three hours analyzing each and every circuit in this section." 

"And those people who try to take a bullet car through this area?" 

"Will find the bullet car stopping and politely informing them they need to walk around." 

"And you picked a place in right in the middle of the tunnel system because..." 

"It has the best breeze." 

Matt broke out laughing, a sound John never tired of. "You are a devious man, John Matheson." 

"I take that as a great compliment, Captain, since it comes from the master." 

"Indeed." Matt reached over and cupped John's cheek, bringing their lips together for a long warm kiss. "So, Master of Ceremonies, what's next?" 

John smiled. "Lunch." 

"Lunch? Here?" 

"Yep," John said, climbing down to the floor of the tunnel. 

Matt climbed down behind him, and John couldn't help a grin as a gust of wind in the tunnel messed up Matt's perfectly shaped hair. 

John sat down on the mattress and gestured for Matt to do the same. 

Instead of sitting, Matt lay down on the mattress, looking up at John. "What's for lunch? And don't say 'you'." 

"No, you're actually dessert." 

"I am, am I?" 

"Yes. For lunch, we have..." John opened up the picnic basket and began presenting each item with a flourish. "Fresh peaches..." 

"Peaches? Where did you get--" 

"Some peanut butter sandwiches." 

"Made from actual peanuts?" 

"Deep fried ratcha." 

"Mmmm." 

"And some actual bona fide beer. Vintage yesterday. Origin...you don't need to know." 

"Beer? Real beer? With alcohol and everything? Damn, John, you are a miracle worker!" 

John grinned and bowed his head graciously. 

"How in the Hell do you remember all these things, like my favorite foods?" 

Because he never forgot anything about Matt. "Just happened to remember." 

"Happened to remember, my ass." 

"Oh yes, I remember that too," John stroked one hand down Matt's backside. 

"Lunch first, remember?" Matt teased him. 

"Then dessert." John handed Matt a sandwich and took one for himself. John took a bite of his sandwich, not really noticing what it tasted like. 

"Mmm," Matt said around a mouthful of sandwich, "Really chunky, and you even put some honey in it. Heavenly." 

"Here, let me help you with that," John said, taking away Matt's sandwich. 

"Hey!" 

"I wouldn't want you to get carried away and choke yourself." John tore a piece off the sandwich. "C'mere." 

Matt obviously considered objecting but shrugged and scooted over to lay his head down on John's lap. He opened his mouth expectantly. John dropped the piece into Matt's mouth and Matt chewed away blissfully. 

John fed Matt his sandwich bit by bit, interspersed with some nuggets of fried ratcha and some rather messy sloshes of beer. The wind gusted around them, making their clothes and hair dance. John then gave Matt the rest of his own sandwich, smearing peanut butter on Matt's lips so he could lick it off. 

"Mmm," Matt said with satisfaction. "Now how about handing me a peach?" 

"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?" 

Matt eyed John. "What's so difficult about a peach? Other than finding fresh ones halfway between nowhere and nowhere." 

"You're going to have to share. You might want to take off your shirt. These peaches look juicy." 

Smiling in anticipation, Matt sat up. He pulled off his jacket and shirt, tossing them aside. John also removed his jacket and shirt. 

"Now," Matt said. "I want my peach." 

"This peach?" John held up a round firm specimen. He waited until Matt moved to take it then he bit into the peach. Matt grinned and leaned against John, taking a bite of the other side of the peach that was still in John's mouth. Matt made appreciative noises and moved to take another bite. John shifted the peach and each dug their teeth again into the ripe flesh. Sweet juice ran down both of their chins. They worked their way around the peach, reducing it to a mere pit. 

John then cleaned Matt's sticky face, neck and chest with his tongue. Matt returned the favor, setting John's skin tingling and his pulse racing. 

"Another peach?" John asked huskily. 

"Later," Matt growled and pushed John down on the mattress. Matt ran the flat of his tongue up John's breastbone. "Yum, John-flavored dessert, my favorite." 

John frowned, "That wasn't what I ordered." He pushed Matt over and rolled on top of him. Leaning over, he sucked on the tender skin of Matt's neck, scraping the skin with his teeth. He chewed on his left earlobe. 

"Much better," John said, sitting up on Matt's chest. "A generous slice of Matt." 

Matt grabbed John's ass and gave it a warning squeeze. "You aren't going to be doing any slicing." 

"Unfortunately, not," John sighed dramatically. "However, there is something else I would like to do." 

"Ooh, something we haven't done yet?" Matt licked his lips. "I'm game." 

John laughed. "I'll bet you are." His face grew serious. "I'd like to try what we called in PsiCorp a Sensory Net. I'm not strong enough to do sight, but if you close your eyes, I can trick your other senses into believing what I tell them to." 

"Now that sounds interesting... What are you going to tell my senses?" 

"Where is a better place for a picnic than the beach?" 

"We're going to the beach?" Matt grinned and closed his eyes. "Do your thing, my lovely Teep." 

Lovely? John wondered briefly, then shrugged it off and prepared his mind. "Remember, if you open your eyes, your brain will believe what your eyes say, not what I say." 

"I got it." Matt's face assumed an expectant air. 

John took a deep breath. It had been years since he had done this. Not many people were willing to let a telepath take over their senses. His heart gave a little lurch as he realized how much Matt trusted him. Not just right at this moment, but every day, day after day. Trusted that he wouldn't use his telepathy without permission or need. Matt would even play cards with him ... 

John tucked those thoughts away for another time and took a second deep breath. 

First, sound. 

He took the sound of the wind through the bullet car tunnel, and brought out the rush of breaking waves, rhythmically swooping into the beach and drawing away again. He added seagulls, just a few. He stretched out the sounds, shaping them to sound like there was a vast ocean, right in front of them. 

Did it work? 

"Surf's up," Matt mumbled and John chuckled, pleased. 

Now, the entwined senses of smell and taste. 

Drawing from his own memories, he brought out the smell of the sea, the taste of salty breezes on the tongue. A touch of the green fragrance of seaweed. The smell of sand baking in the warm sun. The inevitable one or two grains of sand that always get trapped behind between the teeth and gums. 

"Very beachy," was Matt's comment. 

Now the most difficult, touch. 

John asked, "Can you keep your eyes closed while you take off the rest of your clothes?" 

"I think I can manage." 

John watched Matt as he kicked off his shoes and socks, then wiggled out of his pants and underwear. 

"Lay down on your stomach?" John asked. 

As Matt settled down again, John quickly removed the remainder of his own clothes and sat back down next to where Matt lay. 

Naked, John shivered a little in the cool breezes of the tunnel. He grabbed a spare towel and draped it over himself. 

For Matt, he brought out the sun. The warmth of a late spring sun beat down on Matt's back, heating his skin. 

"Ahhh..." came a mumble from deep in Matt's chest. 

Matt was already laying on the towels covering the mattress, so John just added to his senses the texture of a bumpy towel laid over sand. 

John rubbed his hands over Matt's bare back and tried to think if he had forgotten anything. 

"Enjoying the beach so far?" He asked Matt. 

"Mmm-hmm." 

"How about a nice sand rubdown?" 

"Mmmmm." 

John closed his eyes, concentrating, remembering how wet sand feels when you dig your hands into it. The texture of the finest sand oozing between your fingers, warm with the sun. 

When he was sure he had it, he placed his hands on Matt's back. 

"Oh!" Matt said, jumping a little in surprise. 

Keeping his eyes closed, John began rubbing his hands up and down Matt's back, like he was giving him a light massage. Hopefully Matt was only feeling the sensation of the fine wet sand. 

"That's amazing," Matt said, wiggling his shoulders. "Mmm, that feels good ..." 

John smiled and licked his lips. If he kept his own eyes closed, he could almost fool himself that they were on a beach somewhere, utterly alone. 

John began to deepen the massage, digging his palms and fingers into the muscles of Matt's back and shoulders. He drifted lower, massaging the tightness out of his lower back. His sandy hands moved further, sliding over the sweet curve of Matt's ass. 

God, he loved that ass. 

Keeping his sand massage going, John thought back to the first time he had noticed Matt's ass. He had been serving under Matthew Gideon for about three months, straining himself to the limit to try to be the most perfect Executive Officer in the history of EarthForce. On him was the heavy weight of being the first ever registered telepath in EarthForce 

Captain Gideon had been standing with his back to him, looking out of a viewport. His arms had been folded and John didn't need to see his face to know he was frowning. 

As John had been racking his brain, trying to come up with something more he could do for the situation they were in, his eyes had idly wandered lower. What a nice shaped ass, some portion of his mind had observed, firm and tight and probably completely virginal. 

John had chopped off his thoughts, horrified. He had given himself a long angry lecture and firmly turned his thoughts back to the problem at hand. 

But the damage had been done. He had always thought himself someone who preferred women and indeed, most men didn't interest him at all. 

Yet it was Matt's mouth that he dreamed of late at night, Matt's scent that made him dizzy. In defense, John had turned to other men, and women, going from a relatively inexperienced lover to a well-practiced one. 

It hadn't helped. 

John's activities had tailed off, only turning to others when the need became desperate. On the Excalibur, he had been circumspect, knowing how gossip traveled in the enclosed society of an explorer ship. He told himself that he only wanted Matt as some sort of symbol of power, some sort of unreachable conquest. 

He was never very good at lying to himself. 

Now, Oh Glory, he had that lovely ass under his hands, and he was squeezing and kneading the asscheeks. He could do anything he ever dreamed to it - touching it, licking it, plundering it with fingers or cock. There was only one other thing he dreamt about doing to that lovely ass, but, No, better not to even think of it, Matt would never agree. 

"Daydreaming up there, Lieutenant?" 

"I have my Captain naked under my hands, what could I possibly be dreaming about?" 

"I don't know, but it sure as Hell better not be about someone else." 

There is no one else. "Would you like a rinse off?" 

"You aren't going to pour beer on me, are you?" 

"Now there's an idea ..." 

"I'd have to take a half-hour vibe shower before I could go back to the bridge!" 

"Oh, alright. Just a sensory one." John focused on the feel of water, just a shade warmer than room temperature. He laid his hands on the back of Matt's neck then dragged them slowly downwards as he sent the sensation of a wave of water to Matt. 

"Whoosh! You give one impressive backrub." Matt laughed. "Now I need another towel." 

"You're not really wet." 

"I know." 

John leaned over to grab an unused towel. Catching him off-balance, Matt turned John over on his back, and sat on top of him. 

"Gotcha!" 

"Yes, but now what are you going to do with me?" 

"Hmm," Matt looked thoughtful. "What would you like me to do with you? It's your picnic." 

John pretended to give the matter serious thought. He already had something in mind. "We could run up and down the tunnel, whooping. I bet the echoes are great." 

"Whooping? And I could tie you from the ceiling by your ankles." 

"That sounds like fun." 

Matt raised one eyebrow. "I don't have a ladder that tall." 

"Oh well," John stroked his hands down Matt's bare legs. "I guess we'll just have to have sex, then." 

"Oh damn." Matt chuckled and leaned over to suck on John's neck. 

Closing his eyes, John inhaled Matt's unique scent, a combination of skin, sweat, and his favorite cologne -- dark, spicy. Oranges under a hot summer sun. 

John turned his head and ran his tongue along the side of Matt's strong face. Matt's cheek still had a faint peach taste. John's hands ran through Matt's soft brown hair, tracing the shapes of his ears. Matt's lips moved to the sensitive skin of John's Adam's apple. John reached up to Matt's chest and ran the palm of his hands over Matt's hard nipples. 

His palms circled downward, roaming over Matt's chest. Matt's mouth left John's neck and took possession of John's left nipple. He sucked and bit gently on the nipple until John was wiggling underneath him. Matt proceeded to give the other nipple the same treatment. John's hands stroked down Matt's back. 

Leaving John's taut nipples, Matt shifted to one side of John and ran his hands down John's chest. John pushed him until Matt was laying on his back, and promptly returned the favor with his lips and teeth on Matt's nipples. 

Matt let out a soft whimper. Matt seemed to have a direct connection from his nipples to his cock, a connection John loved to exploit. 

Wandering down Matt's chest, John's tongue traced swirls in his soft chest hair. He followed the trail of hair downward, moving across Matt's flat stomach, sidetracking to cover his masculine hips. John wet his lips then place a light kiss on the end of Matt's waiting cock. Matt thrust upwards with his hips, trying to make the connection firmer. John lifted his head and looked up the expanse of Matt's body. Matt was staring up at the distant ceiling, his hands splayed across his stomach as if he was stopping himself from reaching down to where John was. 

John turned back to Matt's firm cock, sucking the head into his mouth. He never got tired of the taste and feel of Matt's cock, whether in his mouth or elsewhere. How much longer would he be able to-- 

Cutting off his worries of the future, John concentrated on pleasuring Matt. His lips, tongue, and mouth roamed over the veined surface of Matt's cock, reveling in the feel of skin moving over the throbbing core. His mouth traveled down to Matt's balls, pulling firmly until Matt groaned underneath him. 

John sat up and moved aside. Matt made a disappointed sound. 

"Sit up?" John requested. 

Matt grumbled and struggled to a sitting position. John snuggled up against him, maneuvering Matt until he was sitting in John's lap. John took advantage of the nearness of Matt's lips and gave him a deep, lengthy kiss. He sucked on Matt's tongue and Matt returned his attentions with fervor. One of Matt's hands sneaked down to take a firm grip on John's cock. 

John let Matt stroke him until he felt the edge coming. 

Gently, he lifted Matt's hand away from his cock and gave him one last kiss. 

"Lean back," John commanded. 

"Yes, sir," Matt teased and laid back on the mattress, his knees on each side of John and his ass on John's lap. John licked his lips and reached over to the picnic basket. Finding the lubricant, he smeared his cock with it then slipped one finger into Matt's waiting asshole. 

"You have everything in that picnic basket," Matt said, looking at him in anticipation. 

"Except dessert didn't fit." John slid a second finger into Matt's ass, making sure he was completely lubricated. 

Positioning himself and Matt, John pulled Matt towards him, impaling that sweet ass with his rigid cock. 

Matt gave a deep moan, sending electric shivers through John, all buzzing into his cock. 

John made sure that Matt was in a stable position, then he leaned over and ran his fingers down Matt's waiting cock. Matt wiggled his ass, wanting John to move his cock in and out, but John stayed still, only stroked his hands over Matt's taut organ. He slid his fingers slowly up and down. 

John had managed to maneuver Matt so that the gusts of wind from the tunnel came up and over Matt's body. Matt seemed to just have noticed this, tilting his face into the wind. The gusts rippled Matt's hair, from his head down his chest and stomach to his tight patch of pubic hair. 

Chills shivered through John, only partially from the cool wind. 

Matt's cock was becoming incredibly hard, and his breath was shortening. With John's free hand, he took a firm grip on Matt's hip. 

Slowly, John began to stroke his own cock into and out of Matt's ass, doing half the work by pulling Matt towards him and the other half by rotating his hips. He got his rhythm going and then returned to stroking Matt's waiting cock. 

Matt moaned underneath him, his hands grabbing fistfuls of towel. John had put Matt into a position where John did all the work, and Matt could only lie there and be fucked. 

The wind came rushing over their naked skin. John grunted and sweated and stroked and rocked. A sharp gasp from Matt, and John pushed them both towards the edge. 

Matt came first, crying out and exploding over John's hand and his own stomach. John came shortly thereafter, pulling out his cock to pump his juices all over Matt's lovely ass. 

John collapsed on top of Matt, and they both lay gasping for a long moment. 

Soon, with their exhaustion and the sweat on their skin, the wind began to feel too cold. John fumbled over Matt and grabbed a towel, wiping them both clean. Tossing that towel aside, he grabbed two more two large towels, and spread them over their naked bodies. 

John lay with his head on Matt's chest, listening to his heartbeat which was gradually returning to normal. 

Matt's hand, only slightly trembling, stroked John's hair. 

John closed his eyes and concentrated on listening to Matt's heart. 

Now was the danger time. 

Now, in the sweet afterbliss of sex, it was so easy to let his barriers fall, to tell Matt with words and mind what John had already said with his body. God, he loved the egotistical bastard. How could one man be so incredibly oblivious? 

Shhhh.... Count the heartbeats ... one, two, three ... 

Over a month ago, when he and Matt had just begun their... affair, John, in a moment of extreme stupidity had told Matt what he felt about him. Oh, he didn't actually use the word "love" but he said everything else. John knew, as much as he had known anything in his life, that after John had made his foolish revelation, Matt had been just one muscle twitch away from walking out of the room, taking a shuttle, and disappearing into the darkest depths of space where John could never find him. He didn't know what kept Matt from doing just that, and he was determined never again to make such a near-fatal mistake. 

... twenty-seven, twenty-eight ... 

"You awake down there, John?" Matt murmured, his hand still stroking John's hair. 

"Hmm?" 

Matt chuckled, "I asked if you were awake. Why do you have to doze off every time after we have sex? Makes me think I should go easier on you, not make you so tired." 

Do you have it together, Matheson? Okay, time to 'wake up.' 

"You're the old man here," John replied, making his voice sound sleepy, "Just giving you time to recover." 

"Very generous of you." 

"It would be awkward to have to explain how my Captain came to have a heart attack, while naked in the bullet car tunnel." 

"You think I'm headed for a heart attack?" Matt flicked John's ear with his fingers. 

John snuggled against Matt's chest. "I think your heart sounds just fine from where I am." 

"Is that your professional opinion on the matter, Doctor?" 

"I think it will require more study. A lot more study." 

"Then I need more energy. Wasn't there another peach in that basket?" 

"Yes," John said lazily, "But the basket is all the way over there. Much too far." 

"Not for a fresh peach!" 

Matt grabbed John and rolled over on top of him. John found himself halfway underneath him, Matt's chest smushed against John's face. 

"Matt ..." John mumbled a complaint. 

"Yes? Something wrong, Lieutenant?" 

"Only if I want to breathe." 

"Picky, picky." Matt sat up on John's chest, already biting into the peach he had dug out of the picnic basket. 

"Find what you were looking for?" 

"Mmm..." Matt's face was blissful. "Peaches, beach, beer, sex ... what could possibly be better?" 

John grinned, pleased beyond proportion at the compliment. 

Matt continued to enjoy the peach, juice running down his chin and dripping onto John's chest and shoulders. 

"I don't suppose you can spare a bite for a poor Lieutenant?" 

"How about a pinch?" Matt dug his fingers into the soft flesh of the peach and loosened a chunk. He offered the lump with messy fingers to John, who obediently opened his mouth. The peach smeared across John's face and some actually made it into his mouth. 

"Tsk-tsk, Lieutenant, you seem to have gotten yourself all messy. I suppose I'll have to clean you up again ... After I finish this peach." 

John chuckled and watched Matt relish every last morsel of peach. 


	3. Time around Other People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon and John have to be careful to not tip off others about their new relationship, but they have a hard time staying away from each other.

**Part 3: Time around Other People**

They had gotten sloppy. 

Gideon and John arrived at the staff meeting late and together, their faces slightly flushed, their hair and uniforms mussed. 

Max Eilerson raised his eyebrows, but before he could comment, Dureena broke in with a scathing remark about IPX and Denibian slime. Max immediately turned his attention to her, and the two exchanged barbs while John and Gideon composed themselves and settled into their chairs. 

"Alright," Gideon interrupted the squabbling, and started the meeting. 

As he talked, he could have sworn that Dureena gave him a long wink. 

* * *

Gideon eyed his First Officer and laid a card on the table. 

John returned his stare, his face impassive. 

It had been a while since the two had played cards, and Gideon had forgotten what a great poker face John had. 

Gideon frowned thoughtfully as John drew a card. 

They were in the recreation hall. Both agreed that they couldn't afford to completely end their normal social life and had to be seen in public regularly. Gideon wanted to be in one of their quarters, the remains of dinner scattered across the table, sitting with John on the couch, touching, talking, feeling warm and contented. 

Instead, they had been dutiful and showed up in the recreation hall at different times and taken up different activities with different people. 

Somehow, however, throughout the evening, they had drifted closer together. Despite conscious effort, Gideon had found himself standing next to John when other people walked away. Just wanting to stay near John, Gideon had proposed cards and now they were eyeing each other across the table. 

Gideon kept his feet firmly crossed underneath his chair. It would not be a good idea for anyone to see the Captain playing footsie with his First Officer. He found himself staring at John's lips. He wanted to reach out and run his fingers along those lovely lips. 

Shaking himself, he tried to concentrate on the game. But it was poker, and he could play in his sleep, even had a number of times. Better make it more interesting. 

"How about we change the stakes a little?" 

John raised his eyebrows. "I always worry when you say things like that." 

Gideon grinned. "I bet you your 5 credits and raise you... a back massage." 

John's eyebrows shot up even higher. John looked around, but Gideon knew that there was no one in earshot. Gideon was feeling reckless, but not that reckless. 

John replied, "I'll take your back massage and raise you a foot massage." 

"You think a foot massage is more valuable than a back massage?" 

"Have you ever smelled your feet after a day spent pacing the bridge?" 

Gideon laughed out loud. A few nearby crew members turned to look at him. Gideon met their eyes and they quickly looked away. 

Gideon chewed on his bottom lip. "I'll see your foot massage and raise you a foot massage and bath." 

"Hmm," John said warmly. "Sounds very pleasant." 

"Only if you can take the pot, Lieutenant." 

John gave him a quick grin then his face returned to a blank. "I will bet you and raise you a full body massage." 

"Ooh, getting serious are we, Lieutenant? I'll bet you a full body massage and two days of vacation time." 

"You can do that?" 

"I'm the Captain." 

"Right... I'll raise you four days of vacation time." 

"How do you expect to swing that?" 

"Who do you think does all the paperwork around here?" 

"Hmph," Gideon stared at his cards but didn't really see them. "I'll bet you the four days' vacation time, and four days for one other crew member of your choice." 

John nodded thoughtfully. "I'm sure that Sarah hasn't gotten enough time off lately, she'd enjoy it." 

Gideon gave him a dirty look. 

John blinked his eyes innocently. "I'll see your two four-day vacations and add four days' accommodations at The Crystal Palace on Epsilon 12." 

"Whoa," Gideon whistled. "That's a pretty expensive resort. Can you cover that bet?" 

"I have a friend who works there and can get me... considerably discounted rates." 

Gideon suppressed the urge to ask just how good of a friend this friend was. He didn't have a right to be jealous of every person who shared some part of John's life that he didn't. He was jealous, but he didn't have the right to be. 

"Are you going to raise, call, or fold?" John prodded. 

"Give me a minute," Gideon grumbled. He stared at his cards, though he didn't see them. He was calculating how many credits he had stashed away in various bank accounts. 

Finally, he said, "I'll see you that vacation and raise you breakfast in bed at the resort every morning, one afternoon of parasailing, another afternoon of hovercraft rental, and incredible sex every night." 

John grinned, a sly grin that sent off warning bells. "Call." 

"Alright ..." Gideon said, and placed his cards on the table. "Full House, aces over jacks." 

John's grin widened. "Four of a kind, queens with an eight kicker." 

Gideon felt his jaw drop. "Now I remember why I don't play poker with you anymore." 

John chuckled and leaned forward. "I'm really looking forward to my four days at the Crystal Palace. I wonder if Dr. Chambers likes parasailing?" 

"You wouldn't." 

"Oh, wouldn't I?" John teased, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "And didn't you say something about incredible sex every night? That could be interesting ..." 

"Not on my credits, you don't," Gideon warned. "I ain't letting you go off for four days without me." 

"Oh, you can come as well," John said generously. "I'm sure Sarah won't mind." 

"Oooh, just try it and I'll... " 

"You will what, Captain?" 

"I'll... Damn this!" Gideon started gathering up the cards. "Let's go back to my quarters." 

"That isn't going to get you out of this bet." 

"Oh, I don't want to get out of it, I want to get _into_ it. and into Crystal Palace with you, Mr. Smartass." 

John lifted his eyebrows. "And you think you can persuade me to take you instead of Sarah." 

"Ohhh, yes." Gideon flashed his wolf's grin, "I can be very persuasive. Meet you in my quarters in ten minutes." 

John shrugged and began to stand up. 

"Lieutenant?" Gideon said. 

"Yes, Captain?" 

Gideon packed his cards together into a neat deck and looked up at John. "Don't dawdle." 


	4. Sex, Comfort, and Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The daily lives - the good, the bad, the silly - of Matt and Gideon become even more entwined. From acting out a fantasy to dealing with a tragedy to navigating a boring meeting, they are there for each other.

**Part 4: Sex, Comfort, and Laughter**

When Matt stepped into his quarters one early evening, John's mouth went dry. Matt was dressed in the cowboy hat and clothes he had worn down to the Technomage's planet with Galen. Gideon had added a pair of soft leather gloves. 

John licked his lips and stared at Matt. "You're wearing... How did you know?" 

Matt grinned, obviously enjoying the effect of his outfit on John. "I heard it in your dreams." 

"Oh," John said and just stood there. 

Grinning wider, Matt strode across the room, grabbed John and hefted him over his shoulder. Staggering, he carried John into the bedroom, where he dropped John on the bed and straddled him. "How about we go for a ride? And then maybe we'll do a little ass-branding." 

Not much later, John was laying on his back, with his ass propped up and his legs over Matt's shoulders. The Lieutenant was naked, but Matt was still fully clothed, including hat. The rough fabric of Matt's pants rubbed against John's skin as Matt's cock moved in John's ass. Matt's gloved hands stroked John's sensitized cock. 

John watched Matt hungrily and forgot to blink the entire evening. 

* * *

Yawning, John shifted carefully as to not disturb Matt. He flexed his toes inside their shoes and settled Matt's head more comfortably on his leg. Matt mumbled fitfully. 

"Shh." John looked down at his lover, his Captain. He touched the face that was pinched in sleep. 

They were in Matt's quarters, on the couch. John had his legs propped up on the low table and Matt was asleep, his head resting on John's thigh, his hands wrapped around John's leg. Matt slept curled up, like a child. Or like a soul who had had too many shocks, too much guilt and responsibility pressing upon it until the only refuge was unconsciousness. 

This morning five of the Excalibur's crew had died. A shuttle accident, totally unexpected and absolutely unavoidable. But the Captain had raged in his grief, tearing through the evidence and the witnesses until even he could no longer avoid the conclusion that there was nothing anyone could have done to prevent it. 

John knew, however, that Matt would take the blame and sorrow upon himself, adding the weight onto the great personal burden he carried in his deepest heart. 

He had been waiting for Matt in his quarters after the staff meeting. Matt had said nothing, just grabbed him and held him tightly. Matt shed no tears, he never did. He had simply sat down next to John and buried his head in John's shoulder. Eventually, Matt had relaxed enough to lay his head on John's lap and close his eyes. 

John ran his fingers through Matt's hair and stroked his cheek, murmuring nonsense. His fingers traced the shape of Matt's face, smoothing out the new lines in his forehead and around his mouth. He caressed his neck and shoulder, trying to assure Matt that he was there with him. 

Matt's brow wrinkled and a whimper escaped his lips. John's chest ached at the sheer hopelessness of the sound. 

He narrowed his eyes and stroked Matt's forehead, projecting gently  
...peace...  
peace...  
...peace  
peace...  
love...  
...love.

"I love you, Captain Matthew Gideon of the starship Excalibur." John said softly, words he would only say when he knew Matt wasn't listening. "I love you, Matt." 

Something must have penetrated Matt's shroud of mourning, because he sighed quietly and snuggled closer to John. 

Another moment and Matt seemed to be truly sleeping. John leaned back, his hands still resting lightly on Matt, and closed his own eyes. 

* * *

Gideon stared unseeing at the monitor in front of him and let the image float to the top of his mind. He was picturing Dureena in a bright pink jumpsuit, balancing a ball on her nose and dancing a jig. 

On the monitor, some ancient EarthForce General droned on and on. Gideon concentrated on holding his image steady. 

It was an old game that John and Gideon had invented a few years ago. Gideon would think of something outrageous and John would give him just the lightest of telepathic touches, picking up the image. Then John would place his own outrageous image on the very surface of Gideon's thoughts. The person who cracked up first - laughed, gasped, or made any other sound or facial expression that couldn't be covered up in the public venue, lost the game. 

John replaced Gideon's image of Dureena in a pink jumpsuit with an image of Dureena in a leopard spotted bikini, juggling four knives and riding a unicycle. 

Gideon tried Dureena juggling flaming torches while perched on the shoulders of Max, who was riding the unicycle. 

John countered with Dureena, utterly naked, doing a intricate dance involving three scarves and a knife. 

_Hmm,_ Gideon thought jealously. _That image better not be from personal experience._

Gideon let his eyes flicker towards John, but the Lieutenant was dutifully watching the General's speech. It was Dureena sitting next to John that almost made Gideon crack a smile. She was spinning a knife on its point on the table and she met Gideon's eyes with upraised eyebrows. 

_I bet that she is a very good... dancer._

Quickly, Gideon smothered a smile and turned his eyes back to the monitor. Composing himself, he switched tactics. He constructed an image of John, naked and spread-eagled on the conference table. 

John responded with the image of Gideon instead naked and spread-eagled on the conference table, and John, also naked, leaning against the table and fucking Gideon. 

Gideon licked his lips, suppressing the spike of arousal the picture gave him. He thought for a moment, then gave John an image of Gideon fucking John on the table and Max standing next to them, watching intently and taking notes. 

Gideon heard a choking cough behind him, but by the time he looked over, John was serene and unperturbed. No one else was looking at John. 

Turning back to the monitor, Gideon waited for John's next sally. He received an image of John fucking Gideon on the table, with Max still taking notes, but also with Dr. Chambers standing there with a clipboard, conferring with Max and nodding thoughtfully. 

Gideon responded by adding Dureena to the scene, doing her scarves and knife dance on an unused portion of the conference table. 

John put in Galen, standing and clapping to the music as Dureena imprisoned the knife between her knees and dipped and shimmed with her scarves. 

Gideon gave a short laugh, covered up quickly by a cough. _Damn, was that it?_ He glanced over at John. John's eyes gave a quick circuit of the table, but nobody seemed to have noticed Gideon's laugh. John shrugged slightly. The game was still on. 

Gideon pursed his lips. He took the scene that John had built, and inserted Trace Miller, up on the conference table and laughingly trying to grab Dureena's scarves as they whipped by. _That table is getting pretty crowded._

John responded by stripping Trace down to some rather ugly looking boxers - orange with yellow flowers and green hearts - and giving Trace a few scarves of his own. Trace was not a particularly graceful dancer and kept tangling himself and Dureena in his scarves. 

Gideon swallowed a snort of laughter, making an odd choking sound. Dr. Chambers looked at him from the other side of the table, her eyebrows raised. He shook his head, and the doctor shrugged and turned back to the doodles she was drawing on her notepad. He gave John a glare _. John isn't going to win this time. He always wins._

Chewing on his lip, Gideon built a whole new scene. The rec hall. Let's see ... bubbles, all over the floor. Multicolored bubbles in reds and blues and purples, floating across the floor, swirling around the feet of everyone. He added a soundtrack, dance music with a steady beat. 

Now for the dancers ... 

John, naked except for a fuzzy bright orange wig on his head. Spinning in circles and then lurching dizzily. 

Himself, wearing ... black leather pants attached to leather suspenders and a leather skullcap. Hopping up and down to the music. 

Max dressed only in a vivid green top hat and a G-string made up entirely of four-leaf-clovers. Cavorting around the room in a passable imitation of an Irish Jig. 

Dureena with her scarves, and with three knives now instead of one. Dancing gracefully then dropping a knife on her toes. Popping bubbles as she stumbles. 

Sarah wearing only bunches of plastic flowers stuck in strategic places. She was waltzing with an invisible partner. 

Trace in those ugly orange and yellow and green boxers. Following Max around on his knees, trying to get Max to dance with him. 

And for the crowning touch ... 

Galen in the hot-pink jumpsuit Dureena had been wearing before. He was gripping his staff like a pogo stick and bouncing around the room to the beat of the music. 

Gideon concentrated fiercely on holding the scene together, with everyone dancing in their own way. 

He held it steady ... 

Abruptly, from the other side of the table came a choking sound. Gideon looked over in time to see John, completely red-faced, jump out of his chair and run out of the staff room. From the hall came the sound of pent-up laughter. 

"Yes!" Gideon said triumphantly. 

The entire room, which had been staring after John, turned to stare at him. Gideon grinned and shrugged nonchalantly. "Probably swallowed his coffee wrong." 

His staff continued to stare at him and he waved meaningfully in the direction of the monitor and the oblivious General. Eventually they all turned back to what they were doing before John's hasty exit. Dureena's eyes lingered on Gideon longest. 

Gideon leaned back in his chair and grinned to himself. _Oh, I'm gonna have fun teasing John about this one._


	5. A Morning Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John sets out to fulfill one of his longtime fantasies, but keeps getting sidetracked.

**Part 5: A Morning Surprise**

Lieutenant Matheson paused outside his Captain's door and took a long breath to steady his voice. His heart was jumping as he prepared to carry out a long-time fantasy. 

His voice was almost normal as he spoke into his earpiece. "Computer, emergency entrance override, silent mode. Authorization John Matheson." 

The door beeped and slid open. John stepped inside and let the door slide close behind him as his eyes adjusted to the dark. There was a soft light coming from the direction of Matt's bedroom, and a soft snoring as well. 

John smiled to himself and moved as quietly as he could to the door of the bedroom. Matt lay sprawled on the bed, taking up all the space. When John slept in his bed, John would often wake up with Matt's arms and legs flung over him. Matt was wearing his usual old T-shirt and sweatpants. Matt had said once that he preferred to sleep naked, but that wasn't wise when, as Captain, he could be woken up at any time. John would prefer to sleep naked while with Matt but couldn't for the same reasons. 

Tonight, Matt's sheets were tangled around him, giving testimony to a restless night. His face was flushed and very young. 

John carefully crossed the room and crouched next to the bed. For a long moment, he just watched Matt sleep, the rise and fall of his chest, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks as his eyes flickered under their lids. One hand was stretched out, and John realized that the fingers brushed against the spot on his headboard where John had whimsically carved "MATT". The carving was already worn, like it had been rubbed many times. 

Swallowing, John closed his eyes, and fought down the surge of emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. He feared sometimes that he loved Matt too much, that the intensity of his devotion would someday swell up and shatter him from within. In some ways he felt like it already had. By engaging in this forbidden relationship, John was endangering everything he'd worked for all his life. But he couldn't stop. Until he was made to stop. 

John shook himself. That was the possible future. The very real Now lay before him, softly snoring. Matt had made it clear that he was interested in sex with John anywhere they wouldn't get caught and anytime day or night. John was certain that Matt would consent to what John was about to do, even if Matt had no idea John had entertained this particular fantasy. 

John took a deep breath and turned his mind to the puzzle at hand. How was he going to get Matt out of his clothes without waking him? He could always use telepathy to put Matt into deep sleep, but that didn't seem quite... sporting. 

His lips quirked. He could take a knife and cut him out of his clothes, but he doubted Matt would appreciate the destruction of what looked like a long-owned shirt and sweatpants. He knew from sharing his bed that Matt was a sound sleeper, so he would just have to chance it. 

John stood up and went over to the environmental controls. He programmed the room to slowly raise the temperature, so Matt wouldn't feel cool when his clothes were removed. He then programmed some soothing music at an almost inaudible level. The music would very gradually rise in volume. Hopefully that should help cover any noise John made. He moved back to the bed. 

Shirt first. He took one of the blankets that Matt was tangled in and laid a corner across Matt's face. John held still as Matt twitched his nose then returned to sleep. Now he was accustomed to having something over his face. John touched one ear, tickling him lightly. As he hoped, Matt swung up the hand on that side and scratched his ear, the hand then falling back to the bed, laying above his head. 

Licking his lips, John climbed carefully onto the bed, straddling Matt without touching him. He slid his hand underneath the blanket covering Matt's face and gripped the collar of the shirt. Luckily it was a loose collar and he was able to pull it slowly over Matt's chin. He left the shirt stretched over Matt's chin, and pulled at the end of the sleeve of the arm that was above his head. Slowly, smoothly, he pulled the sleeve off and then the neck of the shirt over Matt's head. He pulled the T-shirt down the other arm. 

He jerked the shirt off the last inch and Matt stirred. John froze, balanced over Matt, the shirt held in both hands. Matt mumbled something and settled back to sleep. 

John let out a quiet breath and moved off the bed. He lay the shirt on a chair and turned his attention to Matt's sweatpants. John carefully took both sweatpant legs and pulled them downwards, towards Matt's feet. 

The waistband slid downwards a few inches and stopped. After breathing on his hands to make sure they weren't cold, John slid his fingers carefully under the waistband. He pulled gently on the worn elastic and lifted it up. He slid his other hand under the waistband as far towards Matt's ass as he could. He smoothly pulled the sweatpants downward, lifting the waistband over and past Matt's quiescent cock. 

Biting his tongue was the only thing that kept him from breaking out in laughter. In the months that they had been lovers, John didn't think he had ever seen, for more than a few seconds, his Captain's cock at neutral. It was virtually always rigidly erect, or recently deflated. Who would have ever guessed that the legendary Matthew Gideon would turn out to be a total sex fiend? 

John bit his tongue on another spike of laughter. He didn't want to ruin things now by giggling. 

After he got the sweatpants down over Matt's ass and balls, it was a simple task to pull each leg down slowly, over his feet, and finally off. 

Now Matt was completely naked and still quite asleep. John held the sweatpants in one hand and rested the other hand on Matt's right ankle. 

Abruptly, he got the powerful urge to twist the sweatpants into a rope and tie Matt's ankle to the leg of the bed. He could tie his other ankle down and then his wrists ... 

_Dear God. _

Captain Matthew Gideon would make a superb Slave. 

An image, vivid and complete, flashed into John's mind. He was standing above Matt who was kneeling on the floor, his head bowed. John was dressed from head to toe in dark blood red - a snug silk shirt, skin-tight pants, ankle boots, and soft red leather gloves. In one hand he held a loop of rope. 

Matt was wearing all black leather and steel. A thick blindfold covered his eyes. His chest was bare except for two tit clamps, joined by a weighted chain. He was wearing black leather pants that were open in the crotch and ass. His arms were bound behind him. A short chain ran from his wrists down to his shackled ankles. His cock was held erect by a series of leather rings connected by padlocked steel bar. A weighted cage stretched out his balls. 

Coming to himself, John blinked in surprise and shook his head a few times. Now where did that come from? The idea of Matt as... dear God... his Slave must have been building in John's subconscious for a while, to suddenly toss out such a clear and detailed image. Certainly, he had done his own experiments with submission and domination. He had tried about everything at some point in his desperate drive to find something that captivated him as much as one particular EarthForce officer. 

It was all too easy to see Matt in the role of Master. In fact, John had playacted with other lovers being disciplined by his Captain more than once. 

But... Matt submitting to someone, following their orders, giving up control? 

John's lips quirked and he looked down at Matt, lying naked and unaware on the bed. Maybe it was just what the self-obsessed bastard needed. A little time away from saving the universe. Yes, John loved him fiercely, but he wasn't blind to the fact that Matthew Gideon was a paranoid control freak and sometimes a terror to serve under. It could be just what he needed. 

But John would have to be very careful how he presented the idea. If he just walked into Matt's quarters one night with chains and shackles, Matt would jump out the nearest airlock. 

Matt mumbled and turned on the bed. 

Shaking himself, John returned to his current project. The other very intriguing idea would have to wait. 

He realized he was sweating, both from the raised room temperature and the strain of silently undressing Matt. He quickly stripped out of his own clothes. 

Very slowly, he kneeled on the bed over Matt, looking down at his face. He leaned over and breathed softly on his neck. He brought his hand up and placed it slowly on the warm skin. He ran the pads of his fingers down the skin, feeling the pulse beating just underneath. 

Matt made a soft sound and turned his head to that side. John ran his fingers up the strong chin and lightly skimmed the full bottom lip. He ran his index finger over the arched eyebrows. A feather-light touch to his closed eyelids. 

John had never been able to just explore Matt's face. Matt seemed more self-conscious about his face than any of the so-called private areas. John stroked the capable line of his cheekbones and jaw. His expressive face looked guileless in sleep. John ran a finger down his straight nose. John felt like he could watch Matt's sleeping face forever. 

Abruptly, he shook himself. 

He had come in here to wake Matt up with some steamy sex, and instead kept mooning over him. This was at least the third time he had to remind himself to keep moving. If Matt woke up and found him here, before he had a chance to do anything, he would be teased forever... 

Licking his lips, John proceeded to wake Matt up, very very slowly. 

He placed a soft kiss on the side of Matt's neck, feeling his heartbeat under his lips. Moving lower, his breath skimmed over the naked skin of Matt's chest, causing the short curly hair to dance. He flicked his tongue across the sensitive pink nubs, circling each one with his tongue until he heard Matt's breathing began to quicken. 

He hovered over Matt's stomach, breathing on his skin, following the line of soft hair as it gathered into a "V" down his hips. He tickled the belly button with the tip of his tongue. 

Still blowing softly, he avoided the spots on Matt's hips where he knew he was ticklish, and traveled over to his thighs. He placed his right hand on Matt's ankle and rested his other hand on Matt's hip. He trailed his hot breath up the inside of Matt's leg and bent forward to continue down the inner skin of the other leg. He placed a soft kiss on the jagged scar above Matt's right knee, a scar he hoped one day he would learn the story of. 

Moistening his lips, he drew a line of kisses up the right inner thigh. Reaching Matt's cock, John grinned to see that it was already awakening. Did this man never rest? 

He blew softly on the dark hair at the base of Matt's cock. He ran his tongue through the hair, tasting sweat and body oils. His breath outlined the cock from base to tip, then he followed with his tongue. He brought the hand that he wasn't leaning on up to cup Matt's dangling balls. 

Slowly, with tongue and lips and fingers, he teased Matt's cock to stiffness. With agonizing patience, he sucked and stroked Matt towards climax. Matt's breath began coming short and fast, his mouth open and his tongue sliding over his lips. His eyelashes flickered against his cheeks. John felt the cock grow tight under his lips and Matt started gasping. 

Abruptly, Matt's right hand grabbed John's leg and dug the fingers in. Matt's eyes shot open, staring at the ceiling. 

"God!" the cry ripped from Matt's throat. 

Matt's whole body arched. His hips shoved upwards and his balls spasmed. His cock spurted into John's mouth and down his throat. The fingers dug deeper into John's leg until every drop of his orgasm was pumped out. 

His arched body and tight grip finally relaxed. Matt's head dropped back to the pillow with a thump. He blinked at John, his pupils wide and unfocused. 

John grinned, sitting up and wiping his chin. "Good morning, Captain." 

"How did you get in-my clothes-what's the-" Matt shook his head, still dazed. "God, John, you trying to give me a heart attack?" 

"Only if you call what I just gave you a heart attack..." 

"Nooo..." Matt licked his lips, obviously trying to gather himself. "I could have thought you were a thief and punched you." 

"I suppose that could have happened," John teased, crawling up to sit next to his chest. "But I doubt you would have been much of a challenge." 

"Oh really? Come here!" Matt commanded, grabbing John by the ass and pulling him onto his chest. John laughed, surprised as always by how strong Matt was. He perched on Matt's chest, his knees spread out to each side. He placed his palms flat against the wall behind the bed's headboard. 

Matt dragged him closer and took John's cock into his mouth with one big gulp. 

Letting out a choked moan, John pressed his face against the cool wall behind the bed. A few short moments with Matt's mouth around his cock, and John moaned again and pumped his juices into Matt's waiting mouth. He sagged against the wall. 

Matt pushed him off and rolled over on top of him. John looked up at him, dazed by the turn-around. 

"Breakfast in bed." Matt grinned and bit John's ear. "What a luxury!" 

John raised his eyebrows. "Don't expect it every morning!" 

"No, some mornings I'll have to be the chef. What time is it anyway?" 

"Around 0615." 

"Oh good, plenty of time for a second helping," Matt said and began running his fingers down John's chest. 

John smiled to himself as he returned Matt's attentions. Insatiable! 


	6. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon decides to test his feelings - with near-disastrous results.

**Part 6 - Trust **

Gideon snuggled up against John. He had begun sleeping in John's bed about twice a week, with John doing the same number of nights in his. John's bed was becoming as familiar to him as his own, and much more interesting. But tonight, he just wanted to hold John. He was worried that John thought Gideon was taking advantage of him, that he had taken John's unexpected declaration of how much Gideon meant to him and turned it into something tawdry. 

That wasn't what he had done, was it? Yes, it was true that he lusted after John constantly, that he couldn't seem to get enough of his muscular responsive body. He adored John's shoulders, his ears, his thighs, the tiny mole on his stomach near his belly button. But it was more than that, wasn't it? 

Maybe it was also for himself that he had initiated this evening. He had sat on the floor in front of John's couch, John's back resting against his chest, and fed him them both dinner. Gideon had brought a tray from the dining hall that was mostly finger food, but it was still a messy process, dissolving them both into helpless laughter more than once. 

Afterwards, they had talked the rest of the evening, always touching but never intimate. John had told him about his childhood and a little about his life in the Psi Corp, and Gideon had regaled him with some of the more hair-raising stunts he had gotten into because of his love of gambling. 

When Gideon had caught John yawning during his account of a near-death flight from the law on Praxis 12, he had declared it time for sleep. 

"Sleep? Or bed?" John had asked. 

"Sleep," Gideon had said firmly. 

John had raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?" 

"What do you take me for?" Gideon had said growling playfully, leaning towards him, "A sex-crazed lunatic?" 

"Well, if I may say, sir--" 

"Don't answer that," Gideon had laughed, covering up the sharp spike of pain he felt. He had gotten to his feet, yawning himself, and wandered into John's bedroom. He had pulled open a drawer and dug out a spare pair of his sweats that he kept buried there. Taking off his uniform and laying it carefully across the back of a chair, he had tugged on the sweats. 

He had turned and found John standing in the doorway, watching him, his sculptured face unreadable. 

Gideon had tossed back the covers of the bed and climbed in. "Coming, Lieutenant?" 

"Yes, Captain." John had quickly undressed himself and pulled on the silk pants he liked to sleep in. 

He had climbed in bed next to Gideon. 

Gideon had pulled him close. "You fit perfectly in my arms." 

"There is no place in the universe I'd rather be." John had nestled into Gideon's shoulder and closed his eyes. 

John had fallen quickly asleep, and now Gideon lay awake staring into the dark. The sweet hum of John's unfettered mind telepathically purring in the back of Gideon's own head. 

He looked down at the face of his sleeping First Officer. He looked so young. 

Gideon felt a rush of protectiveness, affection, love. 

Love? 

Gideon blinked. Where had that come from? Or had it been growing in him for years? He didn't love John... Or at least he didn't think so... 

Dammit, how the Hell would he know? He didn't think he'd ever truly been in love in his life. This connection, this devotion, this fierce desire for John - body, mind and soul. Maybe that was love. 

Maybe. 

Did he love John Matheson, or was it just his own ignited sex drive talking? 

Love was a meaningless word. Trust, trust he knew. 

Well, there was one way to prove to John and himself that he trusted him. 

If he had the nerve. 

* * *

Gideon was afraid. 

Alright, that was a little strong, Gideon thought to himself, but he sure as Hell was not looking forward to this particular revelation. 

But of all the people he needed to be able to trust, it was John that he needed most. And John needed to be able to trust him. 

It was far and away time that he told John about the Apocalypse Box. 

Gideon sat at his desk in his quarters and fiddled with a pen. He jumped when the door chimed. 

Gideon cleared his throat. "Enter." 

John stepped through the door. Gideon took comfort from John's clean, professional appearance, from his calm capable air. The door closed behind John and he turned to Gideon, patiently waiting for Gideon's cue as to whether he had asked him here for business or personal reasons. 

Gideon took a deep breath. "Lieutenant, John, I have something I would like to show you." 

"Yes?" John's lips twitched but he didn't make the obvious retort that he had already seen everything Gideon had. 

Gideon was glad of John's reserve. "I know that as my First Officer, you should be aware of any items of import on the ship." 

John's face assumed his professional expression, "Yes, sir." 

"As well, in our search for the Cure, you should be aware of any... sources of information that may aid us, especially if anything should happen to me." 

"Yes, sir." 

"Well, there is something I need to show you. I should have years ago, but ..." Gideon trailed off and shrugged helplessly. 

John waited. 

Reluctantly, Gideon pushed his chair back and got up from his desk. Making sure that John was watching, he flipped the hidden switch that made a section in the wall slide open. 

The wall revealed the Apocalypse Box. As always, Gideon was impressed by its alien beauty. He pulled out the box and set it on his desk. Then he looked up at John. 

John had a little half-smile on his face, "Finally." 

"What?" Gideon said in astonishment, "You knew?" 

"Somewhat," John admitted, "I only had a general idea, but I knew that you had some sort of private oracle that you consulted, and it was hidden in your office in your quarters. Besides, there is no way I could have missed a telepathic signature that big and that alien." 

"Telepathic signature? So any Teep that steps on Excalibur would know?" 

"No, it's fairly well shielded. I've only noticed it when I am in your office." 

Gideon looked at his First Officer for a moment, and then shook his head in wonder. "I should have known that you had guessed. I should know that a pin doesn't drop on this ship without you knowing about it." 

John smiled. "I try to keep tabs on everything." 

Gideon shook his head again. He placed his fingers on the latches. "Want to see it?" 

"Yes." 

Gideon twisted open the intricate latches, revealing the pulsing green core of the box. It was silent for the time being, save its ever-present hum. Gideon stared at it for a moment then looked over at John. 

John was nowhere to be seen. 

"John?" Gideon said, bewildered. He stepped forward. 

John was collapsed on the floor in front of Gideon's desk, his hands clapped over his ears and his face white. 

"Shit!" Gideon fumbled the box closed as quickly as he could, then shoved it unceremoniously back into its wall shelf and slammed the door shut. 

He dropped to the floor and checked for a pulse. It was jumpy and weak. John was still breathing, but shallowly. 

"Medical Emergency" Gideon shouted into his wrist communicator. "My quarters, now!" 

He stroked John's pale face. "God, John. I'm so sorry." 

John's eyelids fluttered open but his eyes didn't focus on Gideon. John looked past him into some unknown space. "Cold," he whispered. 

Gideon grabbed his jacket off his desk and put it over John. 

"Hates…" John said very softly. 

"Hates who?" Gideon asked automatically. How could he have exposed John to this danger? 

"Us. Wants ...." John trailed off. 

"Wants? What does it want, John?" 

"Death..." John's eyes closed and his head slumped against Gideon's arm. 

"John? John?" Gideon shook him, thinking frantically of some first aid rule that says to keep the patient awake. 

Gideon checked John's pulse and his breathing, then he could only hold John, trying to keep him warm. It felt like an eternity, but it must have been only a moment before the door crashed open and the trauma team raced in. 

They swiftly took control of the situation, lifting John from Gideon's arms and examining John with various mysterious medical devices. 

"What happened?" One tech snapped at Gideon. 

"Telepathic shock." 

In thirty seconds, they had John up on a stretcher and out the door, leaving Gideon sitting on the floor alone. 

He buried his head in his hands. How could he be so stupid? How could he expose John to it full strength? John had said it had a big telepathic signature even when it was locked up and Gideon had just opened the box and blasted him with it. 

Stupid, stupid ... 

Three very long hours later, Gideon was standing next to a table in Medbay, watching Dr. Chambers tease John about faking a medical emergency just to see her. 

Indeed, John looked completely recovered, though he admitted to a lingering headache. 

Chambers did a few more tests, mumbled some doctor-like phrases, then left John with Gideon. 

As soon as she was out of earshot, Gideon started, "I'm sorry--" 

"No," John interrupted him. "I'm glad that you showed it to me. And, however painful, that one telepathic touch gave me more information than I could have learned in a year of looking at it through the outer box." 

"What kind of information?" Gideon shook his head, "Damn, that sounds cold. You get knocked out because I'm being stupid, and then I just want to know what you found out." 

"It's okay, Matt," John said softly but with conviction. He couldn't touch Gideon in public but he could put his forgiveness in his voice. 

Gideon wanted to put his arms around John so much it was like an ache. He gripped his hands behind his back and promised himself that he could hold John all night. If he'd lost John because of… He shuddered. 

Some of what Gideon was feeling must have showed on his face, because John cleared his throat and answered his earlier question in a normal tone of voice. "What did I learn about the Box? It's Vorlon tech." 

Gideon blinked. "Vorlon?" 

"Sure." John shrugged. "The Shadows seem to have left their technology scattered like garbage around the universe when they left, why not Vorlons?" 

"And we are in a ship whose design was largely based on Vorlon tech," Gideon agreed slowly. "But you said it hated us. EarthForce?" 

"No, everyone. Everyone living." 

"Is it alive?" 

"I don't think it is, per se," John said, rubbing his temples. "It's an organic machine, like the Vorlon ships, but also very intelligent and very, very old. I think it helps you since it's bored. But if it saw a way to end its existence, to die? It would do it without a second wasted." 

"It can't be killed by, oh, blowing up my ship?" 

John shook his head then immediately blanched and held his head. 

"Doctor?" Gideon called out. 

"No, no." John waved off a concerned Dr. Chambers. "I just need some sleep." 

John continued, "If it could have died by destroying the Excalibur, it would have found a way to trick you into doing it already." 

"Wonderful." 

"But I don't think it can be killed by ordinary means. It doesn't itself know how it can die." 

"Hmm ... I wonder if while it's supposed to be helping me find the Cure, it's really looking for its own death." 

"Likely." 

Gideon sighed. "I never trusted it, but I trust it less now. But it has given us some good leads." 

"Yes." John suddenly looked tired and drawn. 

"Let me help you to your quarters?" 

"Alright." John smiled faintly. "But get a ridechair. I don't think it would be a good idea for you to carry me." 

"I don't think my back would like it, either." 

"I haven't seen your back give out yet, when it's had ample opportunity." 

Gideon chuckled and waved for a med tech to bring him a ridechair. 


	7. Going Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Excalibur arrives at Babylon 5, then Gideon visits the doctor.

**Part 7 – Going Places **

"Damn, Damn, Damn," John swore, kicking an innocent chair. "Why now?"

He glared out the viewport at the object of his ire. Babylon 5 floated peacefully in space above Epsilon 5. It was quite beautiful, projecting both strength and refuge.

John hated it.

Things had been going so well between him and Matt. A sweet blissful period of sex and other intimacies. Some of the most wonderful moments of John's life, in fact.

And then the damned Search for the damned Cure led the Excalibur to Babylon 5 and therefore to damned Elizabeth Lochley.

John unclenched his hands and forced himself to breathe calmly. There was nothing wrong with Captain Lochley. She was a competent commander of Babylon 5, a difficult task, and she was smart, attractive, witty, forceful, and… God, John hated her.

_No, no, no, you don't hate her. You are just flaming jealous._

John closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cool glass of his viewport. He shouldn't have been in the room when the Captain called Babylon 5 and told Lochley that they were coming. He wouldn’t have heard Gideon greet her warmly and heard Lochley respond in the same way, calling him Matt.

‘No one can call him Matt but me!’ John had wanted to shout at her. He had wanted to tell Lochley to wipe that welcoming grin off her face because the Captain of the Excalibur wouldn't be visiting her bed this time.

But John couldn't say either. Matt had perked up when it was determined that the latest trail led them to Babylon 5. A smile had settled on his lips as he had sat back in his chair and told John to set course for the station.

Soon Matt would be making love to Lochley again. His lips on hers. Her hands on his warm skin. Maybe Matt would decide that sex with a woman was much better than that with a man. Than sex with his problematic First Officer.

John knew Matt was planning on taking one of the many shuttlecrafts heading over. Soon he’d be sitting in her office, trading innuendoes over coffee, making plans for this evening.

John kicked the chair again. "Damn, damn, damn," John’s door chimed. Dureena had asked if John wanted to go shopping on the promenade. Well, at least it would be something, getting to watch Dureena not stealing.

"Come in," he said, still staring out the window.

"John? You ready?”

John spun around to see Matt looking at him questioningly as the door slid closed behind him. John noticed that Matt was not in uniform, but wearing tan slacks and tight black shirt that showed his sinewy muscles. He carried a non-descript jacket over one arm.

Matt cocked his head. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"Maybe Dureena, but... I thought you’d be in line for the first shuttle."

"It's Dr. Chambers that has all the work to do this time. We just had to get her here." Matt raised his eyebrows. "But you knew that already. Why would you think that I would have already gone over to the station—"

"Oh," Matt's face cleared. "You thought I would go see Elizabeth."

John felt a blush creep over his face. He looked down at his hands. "You usually do."

Matt dropped his jacket on the couch and came to John’s side. "That was before I had you.”

A knot formed in John's throat. "I have no claim on you."

"Nonsense," Matt said firmly, "You must have nearly branded my ass five, ten times now."

John tried to swallow. "You know what I mean."

"I do," Matt said lightly, "But I came here to get you and take you over to the station."

"Oh?" John started to smile, "And what are we going to do there?"

"Well, there are nice restaurants, shops and stuff, the central gardens are gorgeous ..."

"And?"

Matt's face lit up with a wolfish grin than did terrible things to John's heart rate. "I know a few places in Down Below where we can really get into trouble..."

John chuckled. "Trouble? No…"

"Yes," Matt shook his head. "But you can't go there in uniform. You'll have to change into civvies."

"Alright." John turned away and began pulling off his jacket.

Matt grabbed him from behind. "To get dressed, you'll have to get undressed first. Let me help you with that."

Laughing, John let Matt drag him over to the couch. "What about the station and Down Below?"

"It'll still be there later when we need it." Matt said, climbing onto the couch and straddling John's legs. "That's one of the great things about Babylon 5."

"I've always loved that place," John murmured, pulling Matt's lips down to meet his.

* * *

Late one afternoon, Gideon strode into Medbay. His eyes scanned the area until he found Dr. Chambers. He walked over to where she was glaring down at a stack of paperwork.

"Dr. Chambers?" 

She looked up, startled. "Captain?"

"Do you have a moment?"

"What's wrong?" Sarah stood up quickly, her face concerned.

Gideon stepped closer to her and lowered his voice. He felt a blush warming his cheeks. "I wonder if you could look at a rash or something I have."

"Alright," Sarah said. "Why don't sit there on one of the examination tables?"

"It's kind of... in a private area."

"Oh," Sarah's face cleared and she assumed a clinical air. "Please come over to Examination Room One, then."

Avoiding the curious glances of the other Medbay's occupants, Gideon followed Sarah to the private exam room.

Sarah closed the door behind them and then turned to him. "What is the problem?"

"A rash," Gideon said, "On my ..." He gestured towards his crotch.

There might have been a twinkle in her eyes but Sarah's face assumed a professional mask. "Please take off your pants and sit up on the table." She turned away while Gideon fumbled with his pants and underwear, pulling them off and tossing them over a chair.

He sat awkwardly on the edge of the examining table, fighting the urge to cover himself with his hands. Sarah was tugging on some medical gloves.

Sarah turned back towards him and Gideon pointed to the patch of red dots that he had discovered on his penis this morning.

Making the time-honored Doctor's hmming sound, Sarah took Gideon's penis in his hand and examined the area thoroughly. Gideon quickly disconnected his mind from his body and stared at the wall over Sarah's shoulder.

Sarah hmmed again and released him, peeling off her gloves. "You can get dressed now."

She rummaged through a drawer in the wall cabinet as Gideon quickly pulled on his underwear and pants.

After he was finished, Sarah gestured him to sit in a chair. She crossed her arms, leaning back against the cabinet. "It looks like a mild allergic reaction. Have you used any new lubricants lately?"

Gideon shook his head. Lubricants? Why did she think he needed those? And she didn't even ask him about sexual partners ...

She held out a tube that she had removed from the drawer. "Regardless, I'd like you to change to this lubricant. It is very non-reactive and virtually never causes an allergic reaction."

Gideon took the tube of lubricant, his face carefully neutral.

"Even with that lubricant," Sarah said casually as she tossed the gloves into the disposal unit. "You and John might want to take it easy for a few nights."

Gideon's heart gave a great lurch and his hands froze where they were fastening his pants. "What did you say?" His voice came out low and dangerous.

Sarah held up her hands defensively. "Don't worry, Captain, I won't tell anyone.”

Gideon thought about trying to deny it but knew it would be useless. He covered his eyes with his hand. "Damn. Is it that obvious?"

"No, actually," Sarah said, sounding gleeful. "But thanks for confirming it. Dureena told me. I never would have guessed myself."

Gideon looked up at her. "Dureena?"

"Of course. What do you think she does all day, sharpen her knives? Even Dureena doesn't have that many knives. And she's already fleeced anyone on the ship stupid enough to gamble with her. While we are going about our daily jobs, she has to do something. So she practices her skills."

He raised his eyebrows. "Thieving."

"Yeah, but she told me she always replaces things before they are missed. Mostly she just watches people. She saw through you two."

"And she told you?"

"She was so delighted that she had to tell someone, and she knew that I wouldn't talk."

"Delighted?" he repeated in surprise.

"Sure." Sarah grinned at him. "You two are perfect for each other. You make a wonderful team. Without you, John would be too solid, cautious. Without John, you would be even more of a menace to space than you are. You make a great couple for the same reasons. 

She continued. "Dureena was, and I am, just happy that John and you finally figured it out. I don't know how things are going to work out between you two. And I do know about EarthForce rules forbidding relationships between people in the same chain of command, but who cares? Grab life where you find it, I say. Choose passion over rules any time."

Gideon blinked at her, realized that his jaw was hanging open and closed it with a click. "I'm glad you approve."

Sarah broke out laughing. "He's been good for you, you know. You are a bit... easier to deal with most days."

Frowning, Gideon began, "Do you think--"

"No," Sarah interrupted. "I don't think anyone else has really noticed, or at least attributed it to anything specific. And who figured that straight-arrow Matheson would do anything so against Regulations?"

Gideon grinned. "I've discovered that John is not as innocent as he looks."

"I'll bet," Sarah grinned back. Then her face became serious. "But what are you going to do when John's telepath watchdog arrives? They've shown they're willing to take John down for much lighter offenses."

Gideon rubbed his chin. "We don't know what we are going to do. I'm working on it."

"I'm not really fond of those watchdogs myself. What a terrible thing for John to have to go through every six months. If there is anything I can do to help," Sarah said earnestly, "let me know."

Gideon looked up at her and read the sincerity on her face. "I will remember that, Doctor. You can bet I will."

Later that evening, as they sat on a couch in Gideon’s quarters, Gideon told John that they were on a sex fast for a few days.

“Why?” John asked, looking uneasy.

“Nothing you did… Or maybe it was.” 

John’s face went pale and Gideon shook his head. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just have a rash on my penis. Dr. Chambers said that it was probably an allergic reaction. She gave me a new lube for us to use.”

“She…”

“She knows about us,” Gideon said with a reassuring smile. “She’s fine with—No, she’s happy about it.”

“How did she find out?” John expression was now nearing panic. 

“John, hey,” Gideon said, grabbing John’s shoulder. “It’s okay. Dureena figured it out, and she can find out anything about anyone, if she wants to.”

“Dureena?”

“Who apparently is also delighted by it. She told Sarah because she knew Sarah would keep our secret, and also be happy about it. I guess they consider us a good match.”

John’s eyes searched his face. Slowly John began to relax again. Gideon needed to keep in mind that the stakes for John were much higher than for him. If they were found out, Gideon would probably be chastised and even fined, but he’d keep his command. Sheridan had put Gideon in charge of the Excalibur and the search for the Cure, so he was relatively safe. John, though, would be kicked out of EarthForce, and God knows what the telepaths would do to him for falling off that precarious pedestal that he was standing on.

Gideon put his arm around John’s shoulders. “Well, we are a good match.”

John leaned against him. “You think so?”

“Let me see if I can remember what Sarah said…” Gideon smiled. “Right. ‘If John was without you, he would be too solid and cautious. But without John, you would be even more of a menace to space than you are.’”

John chuckled. “That’s true, sir. I’m afraid that you are a menace to space.”

“Not as much with you around.”

“I’m not that powerful!”

“I beg to differ.” Gideon leaned over and nuzzled John’s ear. “You are a hypergiant star and I am only a helpless spaceship drawn into your gravity well.” He slid one hand underneath John’s jacket. 

“Matt,” John grumbled. “I thought we were on a sex fast.”

“Just that one part of me. The rest is ready for business.”

John said skeptically, “Do you think you can really keep that part of you out of this?”

“Sounds like a challenge.” Gideon’s hand slid down John’s chest. “I like challenges.”

“I know you do. The only thing you like better is a gamble.”

“Mmm,” Gideon said, shifting down to kiss John’s neck. “I bet you that I can follow doctor’s orders while still reducing you to a puddle of Chin-ea goo.”

John laughed and Gideon hoped that he’d banished all of John’s earlier concerns about Dr. Chambers and Dureena knowing about them.

“You know, sir,” John said, sounding a little breathy from Gideon’s hands roaming his body. “I think the rash might be my fault after all.”

“Oh?” Gideon said, though he was more interested in getting John’s shirt untucked from his pants. 

“Remember the spicy honey that I sucked off your cock yesterday?”

“Mmm, that’s right,” Gideon said. “I did the same off you. Do you have a rash?”

“Don’t think so…” 

“Definitely going to have to check.” Gideon’s hand slid over John’s bulge.

John’s breath hitched but he said, “And if I do, am I on doctor’s orders for a sex fast too?”

“Eventually…” Gideon said. He slid to the floor, moved between John’s knees and smiled up at him. “But I have to win my bet first.” 


	8. The Beginning of Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John believes he knows what Gideon needs, but Gideon doesn't think he can give up control.

**Part 8 - The Beginning of Surrender**

When Gideon walked into John's quarters one night, he could tell something unusual was planned. They both had a day off scheduled for tomorrow, a day they planned on spending in each other's arms. Or perhaps recovering from tonight's exertions. 

John's front room was dim. Gideon could see candles glittering through the bedroom door. John was dressed in a loose kimono-like jacket and silk pants, the black fabric accentuating his hair, eyes. His arms were folded together and he stood next to the bedroom door. His stance was strong, his bare feet set apart on the carpet. 

He looked dark, dangerous, and Gideon was surprised to feel a shiver. 

"What is it?" Gideon asked, stepping farther into the room, trying to read John's expression. 

"Do you trust me, Matt?" 

Gideon halted. "You know I do." 

"Do you trust me?" John asked again. 

"Yes, I do." 

"Do you trust me?" John asked, his voice husky. 

Gideon stared at him, alarmed. "I would trust you with my life." 

"Come here." 

Gideon raised his eyebrows and walked across the room. He stopped just before John, folding his own arms. "What is going on?" 

John licked his lips, looking nervous for a moment. Then he lifted his chin, his eyes boring into Gideon's. "Give yourself to me." 

"Haven't I already-" 

"Completely," John interrupted, "Give up all control. All self-will. All power." 

"I don't understand." 

Abruptly, John stepped towards Gideon and laid his hand flat on his chest. 

"Let go of it all, Matt." John's voice was low, husky with emotion. "Let go of your responsibilities, this ship, your guilt, pressures, your past and your fears for the future. Leave it all here and step away from it for a while." 

Gideon swallowed and stared at John, his heart racing. What has he talking about? 

"Go through this door behind me," John said. "And when you go through this door, you will no longer be Captain or Matthew Gideon or even Matt. I will not be Lieutenant or John. You will be Slave and I will be Master. 

John added quickly, "But if you are at any time uncomfortable with what we are doing, just say my full name, Jonathon Matheson, or shake your head three times and we will stop instantly." 

All of Gideon's paranoid nature rebelled against what John was suggesting, but part of him found the idea desperately attractive. Just for a while, to leave behind the goddamned plague, the endless pointless political battles, the control he had to wield over everyone, over his ship. Could he really do it? Leave the whole damned universe behind him and put himself utterly in someone else's hands? Not just 'someone else' - John's hands. 

"Alright," Gideon said at last. He didn't miss the flash of triumph in John's eyes. 

"Remember, you can stop if it becomes too much." 

Gideon glanced over John's shoulder where he could see glimpses of some sort of preparation. He closed his eyes and took a long breath, blowing it out slowly. 

He opened his eyes and looked directly at John. "Lieutenant, I give you my ship." 

"Captain, I accept," John replied in that intriguing low way. He stepped away from the doorway, "Close your eyes, walk five steps forward and kneel down." 

Gideon felt a shiver travel the length of his body. He let out another deep breath and closed his eyes again. He took a step cautiously forward, his hands before him. He counted out four more steps and wobbled a little as he sank to his knees. 

John said, "Computer, execute Matheson3A4." 

The computer replied, "Acknowledged. Executive Officer Quarters Full Privacy Mode engaged. All communication for Captain Matthew Gideon routed to Lieutenant John Matheson. Voice command disabled for Captain Mathew Gideon. Communication for Lieutenant John Matheson limited to Emergency Level One. All communication modes voice only." 

Gideon's eyebrows shot up, though he kept his eyes shut. He didn't even know John could disable the Captain's voice commands. It was a strange but pleasant feeling for Gideon to know that he was insulated from interacting with his ever-demanding crew. It had been a long time, years maybe since he couldn't just speak and make things happen. 

Gideon waited, eyes closed, to see what other surprises John had in store. He heard a soft sound behind him and felt John's hand on his head. He started to lean towards John, but the hand stopped him. 

"Did I tell you to lean back, Slave?" John's voice was hard, commanding. 

Gideon froze and cleared his throat. "No." 

"What did you say?" 

Gideon cleared his throat again, which had somehow grown thick. "No, Master." 

"You will not move unless I tell you to. You will not speak unless I tell you to. I will allow you to breathe, for now. Do you understand?" 

"Yes, Master." Gideon was filled with delicious apprehension, like the first deal of a high-stakes card game. 

He heard John kneel next to him and something soft slid over his face. A scarf? A blindfold? He felt it being tied to his head. 

"Open your eyes, Slave. Tell me if you can see. I will know if you are lying." 

Gideon slowly opened his eyes. "I can see some light, Master." 

"Good boy." The blindfold was tightened. "Now?" 

"No, Master." 

John's warm lips were against his, his tongue briefly flickering over Gideon's lips. He moved away when Gideon began to kiss him back. 

"Obedience is rewarded." John's voice was close to his ear. Gideon could smell the scent of him. He wanted to reach out and grab him. He clenched his hands into fists with the effort of controlling himself. 

A rustle of fabric and John's voice commanded from above him. "Take off your jacket and shirt, but don't remove the blindfold." 

Gideon carefully pulled off his jacket and shirt. 

"Now, give me your right hand. I will pull in a direction and you will follow me, on your knees." 

Gideon reached out his right hand and found his wrist gripped. A pull to his right and he stumbled on his knees in that direction. The pull stopped. 

"Your other hand." 

Gideon reached out his left hand and found himself being turned sideways. He stumbled for a moment in that direction. He estimated that he was now in John's bedroom. He felt something smooth and thick wrap around his wrist and he instinctively jerked his hand away. He heard a tsking sound and felt a sharp sting at the back of his neck. He reached up his hand but by the time he touched his neck, the pain had already faded into nothing, replaced by a small spot of warmth. 

John said coolly, "Disobedience is punished." 

Gideon swallowed. Inside, he was at war with himself. This was too extreme. He didn't need this. Goddamnit, he was Captain, he should just stop this. He should take off the blindfold and remind John that _he _was the Captain. Who was John to... 

Gideon's mind stuttered to a halt. Because, God, he wanted to leave it all behind just for a while. 

And John was above him. He could feel the heat, the strength radiating from him. He could hear the soft draw of John's breath as he waited for Gideon to decide. Tonight, he was seeing a whole new side of John, the power and presence he would one day wield as a Captain of his own ship. It was intoxicating. 

Now was the real decision point. Before Gideon had been curious, but now he had a bit more of an idea what he was agreeing to. 

Utter surrender.   
Sweet surrender.   


John...   
...surrender. 

Gideon lifted his wrist back to position. John's grabbed it and slipped it into what felt like a rope covered with soft fabric. The loop pulled tight. 

John's warm mouth was on his neck, sucking gently on the spot where the sharp sting had been a moment before. The softest of whispers, "You won't regret it." 

John moved away and the command returned to his voice. "Slave, your other hand." 

Without a pause, Gideon lifted his hand and felt it slide into another soft loop, which closed around it. Both loops tightened and pulled upwards. He felt his shoulders rise and stretch apart, though he was still on his knees. 

Not uncomfortable yet, just firmly locked into place, he heard John move away from him. There were noises like a drawer opening and closing. A scratching sound. Gideon strained his ears, trying to listen without looking like it. 

"Does the Slave want to know what I am doing?" 

Gideon hesitated. "Yes, Master." 

"You will find out soon enough," John replied and Gideon felt fingernails trail across his bare chest. "It may be pleasure or it may be pain." John's voice grew rough. "Or it may be both." 

Gideon turned his head, following the sound of John's movements. He caught a whiff of... smoke? 

Something touched his back and he jumped involuntarily. But it was soft, light- a feather? The feather-like thing traveled across his bare back, delicately tickling him. It ran over his shoulder blades and up his spine. It traveled over his shoulder, down across his chest, over his stomach. 

He had just gotten used to that sensation, when he fell a drop of liquid- hot, burning! His skin shuddered and he tried to move the shoulder that had gotten singed. He was firmly tied in place. The liquid was cooling in place and he recognized melted wax. As soon as he realized he really hadn't been burnt, another scalding drop on his chest. He bit his lip to keep from crying out. 

Another burning drop on his neck. His lower back. Left shoulder. Right wrist. Right cheek. 

He turned his head, trying to locate John, but couldn't track him. 

Burning drop on his stomach. Shoulder blade. Rib cage. Left ear. Lower back. Right nipple. 

A pause, and he waited anxiously for the next drop of wax. 

The next drop was on his left shoulder-- no. Not hot... cold! 

He jerked reflexively and the cold thing slid down his back, leaving a wet searing trail. Ice. 

"Don't move," John commanded. 

More ice, piece by piece, was placed in a line along both the top of his shoulders and up his arms. 

Gideon gritted his teeth and tried to hold himself still. The row of ice along his shoulders and arms burned, burned... 

One piece of ice melted enough on his hot skin and it moved, marking a frigid path down his arm and the side of his ribcage. 

Another melted and slid slowly down his chest. 

A third piece skidded down his right shoulder blade. 

Another and another until his upper body was scored with icy trails, each melted ice travelling its own path and speed. 

Then suddenly, a drop of hot wax on his left shoulder. 

A groan escaped from between his clenched teeth. 

An eternity of cold and heat as the ice continued to melt and the hot wax dropped a random intervals. 

He was trembling uncontrollably, whether from the ice and wax or the sheer glut of sensations, he couldn't tell. 

Finally, the last piece of ice reached his stomach and vanished into his soaking waistband. 

He breathed through his clenched teeth, trembling in the darkness of his blindfold, waiting for the next drop of wax or something entirely new. A new touch and he flinched then realized it was a towel. John dried off his back and chest, somehow wiping away each drop of cooled wax as he went. 

"You did well, Slave," John's husky voice said, drying his upraised arms. John had a sure, firm touch with the towel and Gideon was able to take a long breath and slow his trembling. 

John moved away and Gideon felt slack in the ropes which kept his wrists tied up high. The loops remained around his wrists, but the ropes loosened enough that he was able to drop his wrists to his sides. Blood rushed to his hands and his shoulders cried out in stiffness and pain. He wondered whether he would be allowed to stretch and roll his shoulders. 

Before he could decide, John's hands were on his shoulders, strong palms massaging the knots that had formed, kneading his sore muscles back to life. John's hands left his shoulders and fingernails trailed across Gideon's sensitized back. 

"Stand up." 

Gideon struggled to his feet, his legs stiff. His heart was pounding and he waited, both anxious and eager for the next activity, like turning over the next card in a high stakes poker game. 

He heard John move away, then a few clicks and beeps from a computer console, and music filled the room. It was complex and melodic, with a subtle alien flavor. 

_Damn_ . Gideon realized that he could no longer distinguish any sounds of John's movement. Which is what John had intended. 

Suddenly, John was at his waistband, his fingers digging into Gideon's stomach as he roughly unfastened Gideon's pants and dragged them down over his hips. John left Gideon's pants around his knees and lifted up his feet, one and then the other, stripping off Gideon's shoes and socks. He pulled the pants the rest of the way off. 

Gideon felt John's fingers at the waistband of his underwear and the soft cloth was ripped away, the tearing sound loud in Gideon's ears. 

"Hey!" Gideon automatically protested, then bit his lip. 

"Did I tell you that you could speak?" John demanded. 

Gideon shook his head, still biting on his lip. 

"Someone still thinks he's in control here." John grabbed Gideon's cock, which Gideon was surprised to find was firm and erect. "Did I tell you that you could get hard?" John pinched the head of the cock sharply. Gideon eyes watered and he shook his head again. 

John released his cock and Gideon stood in an agony of anticipation. Probably the stinging thing again. 

He gasped as instead John slid something smooth and cool over his cock. Leather and metal? 

A tight circle squeezed around the base of his cock, keeping it erect. His balls were compressed and stretched apart and held in place. It wasn't uncomfortable, though it might get that way. There was certainly no way he was going to be able to have an orgasm until it was removed. What the hell was that thing? 

John was at his feet, forcing him to lift his right foot. A soft loop like the one that held his wrists wrapped around his ankle. His left foot was also captured. A tug at the rope and Gideon's wrists were lifted over his head again, his feet pulled by the ropes until they spread apart. He was held spread-eagled between the four loops. 

Gideon swallowed. He was beginning to feel like he was in way over his head and things were rapidly spiraling out of control. 

_This is way out of hand. _

John stepped up against him, Gideon's awkward position making them about the same height. The full body length of John's soft kimono rubbed against him. The rings around Gideon's cock and balls pressed into his skin. 

Gripping Gideon's face between his hands, John kissed him firmly. His tongue plunged into Gideon's mouth, playing with his cheeks and tongue. Gideon tentatively kissed back and, when no correction happened, he kissed John with more fervor. 

John allowed the kiss to lengthen and intensify then abruptly bit Gideon's lip - a sharp spike of pain and the taste of blood. Gideon jerked away but John went with him, sucking Gideon's bleeding lip. Gideon felt dizzy at the sheer sensuality of it. His cock was aching in its leather cage. He needed to stop this now, before he completely vanished into this storm of sensation. 

John stepped away and Gideon swayed. 

_Now is the time. Say John's full name and end this._

Gideon's nose caught a whiff of something and John's finger touched his lip. Carefully, he reached his tongue. Honey and mint. 

John's finger returned to his lips, sticky with honey. Gideon opened his mouth quickly, pulling the finger in and sucking it clean. His tongue and mouth were a swirl of honey and mint and blood. The finger was pulled away and Gideon licked his lips for the last trace of honey. 

His nose crinkled as he smelled something else, warm and spicy. 

_Now, Gideon, end it now. This is enough._

John placed his hands flat on Gideon's chest. The heat of his hands seemed to be intensified, a perception that strengthened as John began to rub his hands over Gideon's chest, massaging and kneading. Was John doing his telepathic sensory net, where he tricked Gideon's senses, like he did in that bullet-car tunnel picnic? No, Gideon decided as John's hands waved past his nose. The new smell was coming from an oil that was on John's hands, which warmed as he massaged it into Gideon's skin. 

Gideon envisioned John's graceful hands digging into his muscles, heating and loosening them. The hands worked their way across his chest, shoulders, upper back, lower back, sides. John returned to his front and rubbed a nipple between each thumb and forefinger. The oil made Gideon's nipples burn pleasantly. 

Gently, John placed a kiss on Gideon's neck and trailed his tongue up the side of Gideon's face, all the time squeezing and pulling his nipples. Gideon sucked his lower lip into his mouth. His brain felt on fire, his treacherous body desperate for more of John's touch. 

_Just stop him, you have to stop him._

"Are your tits ready, Slave?" John asked in his ear. 

Gideon opened his mouth but couldn't seem to make a sound. 

John bit his earlobe. 

Gideon tried again, "Yes, Master." His voice sounded thick and strange to his ears. 

_Stop now! Stop now! _

John's teeth left his ear and he moved away. 

Gideon was left standing alone, shaking with the force of his internal struggle. 

The soft towel wiped his nipples, removing all traces of the oil, leaving them dry and throbbing. He felt a touch cool and metallic against his skin, and then something was clamping onto his nipples, tightening. He cried out in surprise, the pressure shooting straight through his body to his pulsing cock. 

"Does my Slave enjoy having his tits pinched?" John's voice was teasing, pleased. 

_No, no, no, no…._

Gideon threw back his head and groaned, "Yessss", utterly succumbing to the pleasure throbbing through his body. He felt like a great beast that had been sitting on his chest had suddenly taken wing, leaving him feeling light and slightly giddy. 

John stepped away for a moment then returned, his hands slick again with the massage oil. Passing by Gideon's ass, John dug his fingers into the muscles on Gideon's thighs and worked his way downward, kneading and setting on fire each muscle, each inch of skin. He didn't neglect Gideon's feet, but squeezed and pressed each foot, pinching each toe individually. He worked his way back up his other leg, until Gideon's entire body, except for his ass, was ablaze with arousal. 

John's hands then turned to Gideon's ass, but they didn't massage, only lightly skimmed the skin. Gideon's ass was throbbing, desperate for John's touch. Gideon shoved himself back into John's hands, and immediately realized that was a mistake. 

He felt the sharp stinger followed by warmth against his asscheek, and another sting and another, tracing a line towards his... 

"God, no!" he cried out and the sharp pain bit into his asshole - once, twice, three times. The pain shot through his ass. He was panting as the sting settled into a pulsing warmth. His asshole was now aching, wanting to be filled. 

John's clothed body pressed up against his back, his voice in Gideon's ear. "Do you want me to fuck you?" 

Gideon swallowed at the throaty sensuality of John's voice. "Yes, Master," he pleaded. 

"Do you think you deserve to be fucked by me?" 

"Yes, Master." 

Wrong answer. 

"Really?" John purred, "I don't think you have earned it yet." 

Gideon's mouth went dry. John's hands left his ass and Gideon expected another return of the stinger. Gloriously, one of John's fingers slid into his asshole instead, slick with lubricant. Gideon groaned in relief. The finger withdrew, and Gideon waited anxiously for its return. 

Abruptly, instead of something warm and alive, he felt something cool and hard push into his ass. He tightened in surprise and the hard thing began to hurt as John pushed it relentlessly in. Gideon forced himself to breathe out and relax a little and soon his ass filled with a thick shape, which gave slightly as he squeezed. The thing's end was flared, pressing up against his asshole. Where did John get these things? 

He wiggled his ass experimentally, feeling the strange full sensation, the stretching of his ass around the hard, foreign object. 

"Why don't you get used to that for a few moments," John said, obviously amused at his reaction. "I have something else to prepare. I'll be back." 

John turned off the strange music. Gideon could now hear John move around. A rustle of clothing and Gideon could tell that he was now alone in the bedroom. He turned his head on his shoulders, trying to ease the tightness in his neck. He became conscious of the fact that his hands were gripped into fists and he carefully flexed his fingers. 

He had no desire to be freed anymore. He only wanted whatever came next. 


	9. Captive Audience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon is found in a very vulnerable position -- by the person on the ship he can least afford to be vulnerable around.

**Part 9 - Captive audience**

  
Gideon waited there for what seemed a long time, bound spread-eagled in John's bedroom. John must have needed to get something from elsewhere, perhaps Gideon's quarters. He really shouldn't have left Gideon alone and tied up like this. Gideon couldn't even tell the computer to get help. 

A sound in the doorway. 

A voice. 

"Well, this is interesting." 

Gideon froze, his heart thudding. "John?" 

"Nooo," said a too familiar sardonic voice. "Looks like your playmate has stepped out for a moment." 

"Max? What the hell are you doing here?" Gideon pulled at his bonds, but he was fastened tight. 

Gideon could hear Max Eilerson move closer. "Just came by to check on something with the Lieutenant, but this is not what I expected to find..." Gideon could hear the delight in Max's voice. "Much more interesting." 

"Get out of here, Max," Gideon commanded. It sounded weak even in his ears. John must have disabled the privacy mode when he left and Max came in, so maybe he disabled the voice lockout. "Computer, call John Matheson," 

No answering beep. 

Max laughed out loud. Gideon heard footsteps and the rich voice moved closer. "Leave? And miss out on such an opportunity?" 

"John!" Gideon called. 

Max sounded right in front of him. "He's not here." 

"Dammit, leave!" Gideon said through gritted teeth. 

"Can't see anything?" He felt a breeze as if Max had just waved his hand in front of Gideon's blindfolded face. "Captain, Captain. What have you gotten yourself into?" 

"Go away," Gideon said again, futilely. 

"Hmm, can't move either." Gideon had no trouble picturing the smirk on Max's face. "In fact, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it if it did this." 

Gideon felt a touch on his chest and flinched. "Don't touch me!" 

"What are you going to do about it?" The finger trailed across his chest. "The Captain tied up by his First Officer. I should take a picture. Makes that data crystal incident seem paltry, hmm?" 

Gideon winced. "I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement." 

"Very tempting," Max's hand wandered up his arm, testing the strength of Gideon's ties, "I'll have to think of what would be... fitting." 

"You can have that extra storage space you wanted," Gideon said through a locked jaw. 

"Oh, no. This is worth much more than that." 

Gideon felt a touch on his pinched nipples. 

"Lovely nipple clamps you have here," Max pulled mercilessly on the tight clamps, "I'll have to ask the Lieutenant where he got them." 

Gideon tried to ignore him. He was trying to think what would make Max leave but his mind seemed mired in the haze of sensation that John had created in him. Self-will seemed to have melted away with the ice and candle wax. 

Max tugged on the clamps again, and Gideon was embarrassed to find that Max's touch was sending surges of pleasure down his trapped body. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek to avoid making any noise. Of all the people to walk in, it had to be the person who would most love to take advantage of his powerlessness. 

Max stopped pulling at his nipples and Gideon was able to take a breath again. 

"Well, now, look at this." Max's fingers slid down his chest and stomach, stopping just short of his patch of pubic hair. "You seem to be quite thoroughly restrained but still sporting an impressive erection. Useful little device." 

"Don't touch me…" Gideon said. Despite himself, his voice displayed the helplessness he was feeling… and the arousal. 

Chuckling deep in his chest, Max stroked one finger down Gideon's stiff cock. 

Gideon gasped, his balls spasming in their leather cage. "God, have some mercy." 

"Mercy?" The smirk was back in Max's voice. "I didn't know that word was in your vocabulary." He fondled Gideon's aching imprisoned balls. 

A groan escaped Gideon's lips and he immediately flushed, mortified. 

Max laughed wickedly, squeezing his balls and pinching the end of his cock. Gideon tasted blood as his teeth tightened on his inner cheek. 

Seeming to tire of this play, Max released him. Gideon took a shuddering breath. 

Too soon, as Max had ducked around behind him and discovered Gideon's butt plug. "Most decorative." 

Max jiggled the plug and Gideon's breath whooshed out. 

"Please…" Gideon felt the hard length twisting inside his inflamed asshole. 

The plug was moving back and forth and suddenly Max pulled it completely out. Gideon gasped and unconsciously shoved his ass back into Max's hand. 

"What a slut you are, Captain," Max purred, rubbing Gideon's asshole with the tip of the lubricant-smeared plug. "You'll open your ass for anyone." 

"No!" Gideon protested. "Just…John." His voice came out in gasps while Max shoved the plug in and out of his ass. 

Max plunged the hard dildo all the way back in. Gideon groaned, his knees turning to water. Max pinched his ass cheek and ran a hand up his bare back. Gideon's skin seemed to sizzle under Max's powerful fingers, so different than John's smaller ones. 

_Damn him, damn him ..._ Gideon was defenseless against Max's touch. He felt like he was only a bundle of nerve endings and sensations, a plaything for anyone that came along. The part of him that was Captain Matthew Gideon had dissolved into pounding blood and hungry flesh. 

_Where are you, John? I can't let Max get to me like this..._

Humming, Max ran his hands over Gideon's shoulders and ruffled his hair. Max's fingers skimmed over his underarms and ribcage, tickling him and laughing when he squirmed impotently. 

A faint touch and Gideon realized Max had found John's feather-like thing. He brushed the feather down the sides of Gideon's torso, reaching around him to tease the nipple clips with the feather. Gideon could feel Max's body heat. The loose fabric of his black IPX coat grazed Gideon's back. It was surprisingly soft. 

"Hmm, now lookie here. This looks like a useful little device." _Zap!_

Gideon flinched and Max broke out laughing. 

"My oh my, Captain, how low you have fallen." Max pressed the stinger to Gideon's ass and activated it. 

It bit into Gideon ass cheek, a piercing jolt of pain, and Gideon cried out. John must have been using it on a lower setting. 

The stinger bit into his tailbone. Then his right shoulder blade. The stinger left waves of heat behind it. 

"You like that, don't you," Max purred, his voice closed to Gideon's left ear. "I wonder what other toys our innocent little Lieutenant has." 

_God, John, where are you? Please come back…_

Max pinched his ass, sliding his large hands down Gideon's thighs. One solid callused finger slithered down between Gideon's asscheeks, tracing a whorl around his plugged asshole. Reaching lower, Max scraped his fingernail back and forth across the sensitive section of skin behind his balls. Gideon shivered uncontrollably. 

Finally, Gideon heard Max move around to his front. Gideon licked his lips and tried to control his breathing. Stepping close enough that Gideon could feel his warm breath on his face, Max dragged his fingernails down Gideon's chest. Max's breath smelled like strawberries and his large hands rubbed over Gideon's skin, tugging on his chest hair. 

One hand played with his clamped left nipple and Max's other hand swept lower and dug into his mound of pubic hair. Abruptly, the hand buried in Gideon's pubic hair pulled sharply. 

Surprised, Gideon cried out. Max was immediately pressed up against him, biting his lips and nose. His uniform jacket slid against Gideon's chest, the IPX pin cutting into his skin. 

Max's hand left Gideon's hair and took a firm grip on his cock. His other hand was on the back of Gideon's head, holding his head so he couldn't pull away. 

Max's full firm lips were crushed against Gideon's and his tongue forced its way into his mouth. Gideon struggled against this invasion, somehow more intimate than anything else Max had done. 

Max's free hand gripped and stroked his cock, his large hand pressing the rings into Gideon's skin. 

Gideon fought more frantically, the erotic sensations starting to turn to fear. 

Abruptly, Max changed. 

His sculptured lips became smaller, his hands finer and smoother. The cloth of Max's uniform that was pressed against Gideon's skin changed softer and silkier, with a knotted belt around the waist. Max grew shorter, so that he was directly at Gideon's height. The tongue that withdrew from Gideon's mouth was smaller and more agile. And his scent ... 

Realization shot through Gideon. "John, you Bastard!" 


	10. Chapter 10

**Part 10 - Final Surrender**

John released him, laughing softly. The fake telepathic sensory information was fading so Gideon could now tell it was John with him, not Max Eilerson. Gideon could imagine his face, though he couldn't see it through the blindfold. 

"Not funny!" Gideon shouted. Anger and relief made his voice tremble. 

"Maybe not," John said, the laughter still in his voice. "But I know you enjoyed it." 

"I would have enjoyed it more if it had been Max tied up." 

John touched his face, his thumb gently rubbing his cheekbone. "I don't think so." 

The fear and anger were receding, leaving behind a heavy buzz of arousal. Gideon didn't need to say out loud what John already knew. To be helpless before the person on the ship that he most needed to be authoritative around… Now that Gideon knew that it was only a telepathic trick, and there wouldn't be any annoying consequences, he could admit the sheer seduction of powerlessness. 

How the hell could John have known? 

John placed his hands on the sides of Gideon's head and pressed up against him. His lips were gentle against Gideon's mouth. Gideon's painfully erect cock was rubbed by the silk of John's kimono, but he could also feel John's own cock was hard and pulsing through the silk. He hadn't been the only one to enjoy the telepathic charade. 

John's lips lingered on Gideon's, then he suddenly stepped away and smacked Gideon across the jaw with an open palm. 

Gideon yelped, "What was that for?" 

"You seem to be forgetting who you are and who I am," John said sternly, "And you weren't very welcoming to our guest." 

"But I didn't --" Gideon pulled himself up short, his jaw throbbing softly where John had hit him. He felt his bonds, remembered what had happened before 'Max' arrived with the wax and ice and stinger and the clamps… He must not forget the man who stood before him was not his John and was no less dangerous than Max. 

Gideon ducked his head. "Forgive me, Master." 

"I will think about it," John said softly, "if you are sufficiently penitent." 

"Thank you, Master," Gideon whispered. He had been shredded even before the Max interlude and felt raw and vulnerable now. Intoxicating apprehension arose in his chest. Would it be the stinger or something new? 

John's fingers were at his nipples, caressing the crimped nubs. "I think it is time these were removed." 

Gideon frowned. That didn't sound like a punishment. 

One of John's hands were on each nipple and with two small clicks, the metal clips were removed. Gideon cried out loud as the blood rushed back to his nipples, lighting up his chest with burning intense pain. He arched his back, his shoulders straining against the ropes. John was firmly rubbing his breastbone, the sensation overloading his brain and lessening the pain of his awakened nipples. 

After a long moment, the pain became manageable and Gideon was able to draw a panting breath. The pain faded to a warm tingle. Gideon felt John's lips on his chest, sucking softly at his swollen nipples. 

Gideon groaned, dizzy with the alternating peaks of pain and pleasure, cruelty and tenderness. John's lips left his nipples and traced a line down his chest and stomach, stopping just before he reached Gideon's pulsing cock. 

Releasing him, John left him swaying alone. Gideon felt John kneeling in front of him, his breath brushing Gideon's cock as he breathed in and out. Gideon gritted his teeth, wanting John's mouth on his cock so much that tears came to his eyes. 

Slowly, John stood up, never touching him. Gideon gave a groaning sigh, his desires left on the edge of fulfillment. 

Gideon felt John moving away and he was forced to gather the tatters of his dignity together or beg for John's return. His bound hands closed convulsively as if he could reach out and grab John. 

Gideon heard something and his head jerked around. John was standing behind him. He could hear the other's breathing, throaty and short. What could John possibly have in mind? 

"I have wanted to do this for so long," John murmured huskily. 

Smack! Something hit Gideon's ass and he jumped. It wasn't John's hand, but something cool and flat. A surging heat spread across his ass, and the thing came down again. A paddle? 

The paddle came down again, spreading another surge of heat. Again and again it came down, roving over his ass and down his thighs, leaving tingling warmth in its wake. John settled into a rhythm, and Gideon found himself thrusting backwards into each stroke. 

The paddle came down again but instead of a sharp smack with a flat surface, there was a caress of a soft furry surface. 

The next stroke was a smack and Gideon thought he might have imagined the softness, but then it came again, alternating with the hard surface. 

A few more strokes with those two sensations. 

Then ... spikes! 

He grunted in pain and surprise. 

No, his skin didn't feel cut, but the paddle came down again and he felt thick rubber knobs, pointy, sending sharp surges of feeling through his ass. 

The soft surface again, then the hard, allowing him to catch his breath, then the spikes again. Gideon moaned, the sound wrenched out of his chest. His whole being was focused on that paddle, and his breath rose and fell with each swing. The different sensations varied at random, never allowing him to know what was next. The blows were concentrating on his lower ass and top of his thighs, then wandering to his inner thighs. The plug in his ass was jostled again and again. The sound of the paddle slapping against his skin reverberated through the room. 

... spikes, hard, spikes, soft, hard, spikes, soft, soft, hard, hard, hard, hard ... 

Pause. 

Gideon gritted his teeth, expecting some new torment. 

In the sudden silence, he heard John's breathing, harsh and fast, and the sound of the paddle falling to the floor. 

A touch and he flinched, then realized that it was only John's hands, hot against the tingling heat of his ass. 

"You are so beautiful." John's voice was throaty and thick, trembling with excitement. 

Abruptly, a clicking sound and Gideon felt slack in the ropes that held up his wrists. John shoved him forward. The ropes tightened and Gideon was bent over slightly at the waist. 

John wrenched the butt plug out of Gideon's ass and threw it with a clatter across the floor. 

Savagely, John's cock plowed into Gideon's wet and stretched asshole. 

At the same moment, John's arousal telepathically slammed into Gideon's brain. 

Gideon cried out as the twin assaults plundered his body and mind. Part of him remembered that John had said he couldn't do this, that John said he might lose control and hurt him if he tried. The hot wave that was John's desire poured into Gideon and he knew that John was completely out of control. 

Gideon didn't care. 

John's desire joined with his own screaming arousal, cutting fiery trails to every nerve ending in his body. John's fingers dug bruises into his hips as his cock pounded into Gideon's ass. Tears began to leak down Gideon's face and his hands clenched into fists. 

As if the sheer onslaught of stimulation wasn't enough, John took his own sensations -- the feel of his grip on Gideon's hips, the smell of sweat and honey, and how his cock felt as it dove into Gideon's ass - and sent them into Gideon's mind. John connected those sensations into Gideon's own sensations, looping them together into a fierce rising spiral. Gideon could feel John's breath on his back, and at the same time, knew how John felt, his lips hovering over Gideon's back, his breath pushing out with each thrust of his pelvis. Their arousal levels looped together as well, driving them both higher and higher. 

John's ears funneled a sound into Gideon's mind and Gideon realized it was himself. He was yelling, _YES master YES master YES master YES ..._ He had a brief worry about sound proofing, was immediately reassured by John, then Gideon's thoughts whirled back into incoherence. 

_... YES master ..._

Still thrusting his cock into Gideon's ass, John leaned over and sunk his teeth into Gideon's back. 

Gideon screamed. 

John's teeth dug into his back and through him Gideon tasted blood and skin and the sweet steel tang of searing pain. The pain spiked through the maelstrom of feeling, heightening the urgency. Their joined sensations surged like boiling lava through Gideon, expanding into every millimeter of his body, pressing against his skin, filling every extremity with a maddening tension. 

John paused. 

Gideon held himself rigid, waiting, desperate, tears streaming down his face. 

John grasped Gideon's cock and snapped open the device that had held Gideon prisoner so long. It fell to the floor with a clunk. 

Gideon gasped in relief and fear. That cage had been the only thing holding him together, keeping him from shattering apart, disintegrating. 

John's hands returned to Gideon's hips, and John's cock began slow, long strokes into Gideon's blazing ass. 

At the same time, Gideon felt another pair of phantom hands take hold of his cock. The hands began stroking him with the smooth firm touch of John's hands. 

Gideon groaned, accepting the reality of his senses without question. He only knew that the hands were bringing him closer to the precipice, to that rending of the body and soul he feared and desperately longed for. 

John's rhythm was speeding up. Gideon could feel the pressure building in John as well, pressing against his skin like the pressure of molten lava. 

From a distance, Gideon heard his own voice, babbling, _...yes, please, no, John, oh, God, please, no, yes .._ John was chanting something in an unknown language. 

The twin demands of their bodies fused together, spiraling ever higher until death or dissolution seemed the only possibilities. 

Finally, the spiral ruptured and... 

Total eruption of soul and body. 

John and Gideon screamed together, the searing juices pumping out of their cocks only part of the total explosion of the senses, the tearing apart of the mind. 

Sweet release erupted from every pore of their bodies. The intensity of their twin orgasm was the core of a volcanic explosion. Doubled, tripled, expanding... 

Gideon felt he was bursting open from within, shredding into tiny pieces of sense and sound. His body shook uncontrollably. Scalding tears soaked his blindfold. 

The force of the pain/pleasure was too much for his mortal mind and Gideon blacked out. 

He regained consciousness, not knowing how long had passed. John's fiery emotions were gone. Gideon was alone in the shell of his body. 

John was laying against him, his cheek resting on the bite wound in Gideon's back. Gideon opened his mouth to ask John how long he'd been out. 

No words came out. Gideon realized that he was still crying. 

Tears were running down Gideon's face, leaving hot salty trails behind. Funny, he had forgotten that tears were warm. 

Warm, like blood. 

Like blood pouring down his cheeks. 

His cheeks were stiff with salt but more blood tears kept flowing from his eyes. Impossible that he had these many tears in his body, this much blood. It felt like tears were welling up from a source deep within him, broken open by John and his touch and ... 

_Oh God, no._

He reached for some control, his old walls, but they had been torn, burned, and scoured away. There was nothing to shield him from seeing behind him, from seeing the trail of footprints that led to the present, footprints that were outlined and filled with blood. And the faces and the hands reaching out to him. 

Faces he knew too well. 

Faces of the dead. 

His dead. 

_No!_

He tried to close his eyes, look away, but they were still there. Shipmates, lovers, friends, family. All dead because of him. Because of his failure at some crucial point. Because of his incompetence or arrogance or plain stupidity. 

Every man and woman from the Cerberes was there. The five Excalibur shuttle crew were there, blood still fresh on their faces. His father. Jenna. The EarthForce captain he didn't even know the name of. The hundreds and thousands of people on Earth who had already died from the Plague. Every one of them. 

"All dead," he whispered. 

"What?" John's voice, far away. 

"They're all dead," he repeated. Tears rained down his face, one drop for each of the dead. His body sagged under the weight of the tears, his legs made of water. He collapsed, only the ropes around his wrists kept him upright. 

"Who is dead?" John whispered. 

"Everyone." The word caught in Gideon's throat and came out as a sob. " _Everyone._" 

He broke down and began to sob heavily. 

John's arms were around him, lifting him. Gideon felt the ropes around his wrists loosen. Gideon's arms dropped uselessly to his side. His chest expanded and fell with each sob. John did something and the ropes that held his ankles fell away. 

Weeping shook Gideon's body. 

John said, "Computer, turn down lights to level 10%" 

Gideon felt himself carried and then laid down on a bed. John sat down next to him, gently removed his blindfold, and pulled him into his warm arms. He lay a blanket over Gideon's raw back. 

Gideon couldn't open his eyes, his lashes were too crusted with tears. 

"My fault," Gideon said, his voice harsh and full of self-loathing, "They are all dead and it's my fault and I should have--" 

"There was nothing you could do. You always do the most you possibly can." 

"I should have acted quicker, seen it coming. I don't deserve to be Captain, I let people die." 

"You have kept more of us alive than anyone could ever hope." 

"No, no, no ... They're dead, they're all dead. People die around me and I can't stop it! I can't stop it. Earth dying, people dying ... Looking at me ... screaming ... Why didn't you save us? Screaming and I wake up ... 

Everyone I love dies ... dies ... I want ... I wish ... I can't stop it ... stop ... footprints ... the blood! ... gone ... dead ... " 

Out of words, Gideon simply curled up in John's arms and sobbed. His chest ached with the force of his gasps, but he couldn't stop. John was rubbing his back, murmuring something in a soothing voice. 

A bolt of fear hit Gideon and he gulped for air. "John?" 

"I'm right here." 

"John? _John_?" 

John wiped his eyelashes so Gideon could open his eyes. John's hand tilted Gideon's chin up so that he was looking straight at John. "I'm right here." 

Distantly, Gideon noticed John's face was also streaked with tears. His warm brown eyes were touched with red. 

Gideon reached out and grabbed John's shirt. "Don't leave me." 

"I won't--" 

"Don't leave me!" 

"I won't!" 

"Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me, dontleaveme ..." Gideon buried his face in John's shirt. 

"I will never leave you," John said fiercely, backing up his certainty with telepathic emphasis. 

Clenching John's shirt, Gideon cried himself empty. Eventually, his sobs turned to heaving gasps. He laid his head against John's chest and listened to John's heartbeat. His tears slowed and stopped and his ragged breathing quieted. 

Something numbing covered the open bite wound on his back and then something soft was laid over top. 

Gideon lay in the circle of John's arms. 

Warm, he felt warm. 

And quiet. 

And clean. 

He carefully opened his mental eyes to look behind him. His dead were still there. But they had changed somehow. They weren't standing, staring, accusing. The crew of the Cerberus only looked solemnly at him, waiting patiently for their vengeance. The people on Earth watched him hopefully, also patient. His father shook his head sadly but did not turn away. Jenna ... he had almost forgotten her lovely smile. The five crew Excalibur shuttle crew members had faded a little, still his responsibility, but somehow bearable. 

He felt like it had been poison that he had cried, gushing up from a deep pool of foul poison that had been pressing against his insides, swelling, crowding out all feelings. 

He didn't doubt that the pool of poison was still there, waiting for his moments of weakness and doubt, but the pressure had been lessened. He could breathe, feel, love ... 

Yes. 

Taking an unsteady breath, Gideon lifted his head and looked up into John's face. John gave him a shaky smile. 

Gideon continued to look at him, humbled by John's generosity and understanding. "You know me better than I know myself..." 

John gave a half-smile. "That's an Executive Officer's job." 

"You're the damn best XO I've ever had," Gideon reached up to John's cheek. "But there's more, and you know it." 

John's smile grew less certain. "Yes, I know," he said softly. 

Gideon stroked John's cheek, studying the look and feel of his face, trying to imprint this breath of time on his memory. 

"Matt, what is it?" John tentatively touched his hand. 

Gideon took hold of John's hand. "I love you." 

John seemed to freeze in place, his hand gripping Gideon's tightly. His face and voice were carefully blank, "What did you say?" 

"I said, I love you." 

"You...?" John's eyes were wide and bright with astonishment. 

"I told you I loved you," Gideon said, a smile growing on his face, "And I know damn well that those ears of yours can pick up a conversation halfway across the ship and you can hear me now." 

"But you said..." 

Gideon laughed, a bubble of wonder and delight rising in his throat. "I am a stubborn man, it takes a while for me to figure out these things. But I do know that I love you, John Matheson. I don't when I started loving you, but I sure as Hell do now." 

"You love me," John repeated numbly. 

"Even after you paddled my ass." 

John blinked. "Or maybe because I paddled your ass?" 

"Now who's being stubborn. Now, tell me what I want to hear." Gideon tilted his head, waiting. 

"Um, what?" 

"Lieutenant ..." Gideon's voice a warm tease. 

"Oh," A smile like the sun spread slowly across John's face. It lit him up from within with an intensity that stole Gideon's breath. "You mean, that I love you too?" 

Gideon's throat was tight. "Yes, that." 

"I love you, Matthew Gideon. I've followed you to Hell and back and expect to do so many more times in my life. Just to be with you. But I never dared hope ..." John closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them, they were bright and wet. "I love you, Matt." 

Gideon grinned, "When you call me Matt, it's like you're saying you love me all over again." 

"I've heard that repetition can teach even the most obstinate of minds." 

"Are you implying… " Gideon tried reaching up to grab John's shoulder, but he groaned and collapsed backwards onto the bed. Now that his head was clear, his body was reminding him of what it had just been through. "Goddamn I hurt! I don't think there's one muscle, one inch of skin that doesn't hurt. What did you do to me?" 

John lay down beside him, that sunlit smile still on his face. "I think you remember. But I could replay it for you, if you want..." 

"Nooo, no." Gideon rubbed his forehead. "I already have the universe's own headache." 

"I thought that might happen with the telepathic connection." John didn't look at all repentant. "My familiarity with your mind, and your familiarity with me being in your mind, made what I did possible. Still was hazardous and reckless, even if it was amazing." He shrugged. "I don't think I broke anything, though." 

"You don't think...?" Gideon grumbled. "I don't have that much in my head to start with, without you breaking any of it." 

"I think I left you relatively intact." John's smile was confident. 

"Relatively?" Gideon growled and pulled John towards him. "You better hope that there are still a few Captain pieces left in there, or you're going to end up running this ship even more than you do now." 

"Oh? I'm not sure that's possible." 

Gideon laughed and wrapped his aching arms around John's torso, holding him tightly. "Where did you learn about this stuff and get all the things you used and- Have you been practicing on innocent members of my crew?" 

"No," John laughed, "It's been a while for me to and I've also been on the receiving end." 

"Damn! Who?" 

John shook his head, still laughing, "No one you know." 

Gideon squeezed him, "Who?" 

"Tsk-tsk, I think Matt is jealous." 

"You better believe it! You'll just have to tell them all that you're mine." 

"Oh?" John said, smoothing the hair back from Gideon's sweaty forehead. "Are you going to tell all your playmates that you're mine?" 

"Hmm," Gideon looked thoughtful. "All those hundreds of women ... and men, are just going to have to miss out." 

"They will just have to." John tenderly kissed Gideon's bruised and abused lips. "Because I'm not sharing." 

John paused and raised his eyebrows, "Though, you know..." 

"Hey, hey, go easy on me, alright! I'm not nearly as used to all of this stuff as you!" 

John curled up against Gideon's side. "I don't intend to go easy on you at all. And I think you prefer it that way." 

"Hmph," Gideon responded, laying his cheek on John's hair. "When do I get to be Master?" 

"You get that every day, all day. You're the Captain, remember?" 

"Oh yeah." 

They were silent for a moment. Gideon closed his eyes and listened to John's breathing. He didn't regret what he had said. He did love John. It just took a while-and some serious ass-whipping-to admit it. John had the most generous heart he had ever known, along with a sly sense of humor, unwavering strength of character, quick mind, gorgeous eyes, great hands ... 

"John?" 

"Yes, my love?" 

A shiver went through Gideon. "I could get very used to you calling me that." 

"I'll try to remember to use Sir on the bridge." 

"And The High and Mighty Bastard when I'm not on the bridge." 

John flushed and Gideon laughed. 

"But John ... did you have to bite me?" 

John considered. "It seemed the thing to do at the time." 

  
"The thing to..." Gideon rolled his eyes. "If I need to see the doctor, you're going to be sorry." 

"Indeed." 

"Very sorry." 

"Very very sorry," John repeated. One of his fingers ran down Gideon's chest. 

"I could have you court-martialed for attacking a superior officer." 

"Kick me right out of EarthForce." 

"Put you in a jail on some asteroid somewhere." 

"In a cold dark prison cell all by myself." 

"With only rats and bugs to keep you company." 

"I'll make sure and name the biggest and prettiest rat after you." 

Gideon burst out laughing. "I'd be honored." 

John chuckled then his face grew sober. "Matt, where do we go from here?" 

"I don't know about you," Gideon groaned. "But I don't plan on moving from this bed until the day after tomorrow." 

"I'm serious." 

Gideon reached out and cupped John's beautiful face in his hands. "I am too. I will never leave you and you will never leave me. But trying to plan a year, five years down the road doesn't make any sense right now. We will be together. Whether we are stranded on a backwater planet as the last humans in the universe or walking in an Earth victory parade or on the other side of the Veil, we will be together." 

John blinked a couple of times and gave him a wobbly smile. "I love you, Matt." 

"I love you, John." 

Gideon kissed John tenderly and they settled against each other on the bed with contented sighs. 

"John, John ..." 

"What now?" 

"Oh, I was just thinking... You have special name for me, I should have one for you." 

"Oh, no." John covered his head with a pillow. 

"Johnnie, Jonathon, My John, Mathesonny, Mattie, Little John, Matsie ..." 

A groan came from underneath the pillow. 

Gideon grinned, leaned back against another pillow and idly ran his fingers along John's back. 

"JohnJohn, Lieutenant Brown Eyes, Lieutenant Lover, Johnsie, My Master, Sweet Ass, Supersucker..." 

A louder groan and a muffled, "Someone please kill me now!" 

"Johnnie-poo, John-boy, Super Teep, Teepster, Johnteep, Johnaroni, Johner, Matt's John, Lover boy..." 

* * *

Five months had passed too quickly. Five months since discovering each other after Mr. Jones' last visit. Now that they realized what they meant to each other, the situation was even more desperate. They had to find a way to get around Mr. Jones. Not just for this visit, but for good. An impossible task. 

Their time was almost up. 


End file.
